TW for uh mentions of ableism, burnout, mental health, all the typical items of a vent To whoever sees this, and I don't think many people will, hello. Putting it bluntly, I haven't done anything here for three weeks, and I haven't posted in a project in more than two months. So I figure I owe an explanation, if anyone cares that I was gone anyways. Maybe this project is just for me, to give me some closure. If it is, that's fine. Whether or not this is just me talking to an empty room, I wanted to say goodbye officially. But anyways. This year, like the year before it, I participated in a bunch of in school and out of school activities. In some things I was put in higher levels and therefore those things took up more time out of my schedule than last year. And then when fall ended and the window opened for winter extracurriculars, decided to take on some new things and add to my schedule a little bit more. Which resulting in reality coming and smacking me in the face with a giant brick called burnout. It was fine, I guess, until now. I got my autism diagnosis a month ago. My mom had insisted on getting me tested, something I really didn't want. Why? Because over half of the teachers at school are ableist and every single one of my neurodivergent friends gets either treated like they don't exist or can't tell the difference between an apple and a banana. Call me crazy, I didn't want that, and I knew my parents were gonna tell the school if I was, in fact, autistic. Yeah, so my parents told the school. I don't get called on anymore in class. For group work, the teachers only slot me in with the other neurodivergent kids. I mean, a lot of those people are my friends, but it still frustrates me that they think I can't work with anyone else. They keep offering me extensions of homework, and I think I've only ever asked for an extension twice this year. And on top of that, every time I sound any type of annoyed, my mom says "Hey sweetie, don't do that, because normal people could get the wrong impression." Recently she's stopped playing the radio in the car and instead plays a special playlist titled "calming music for autism". So yeah, I'm not doing the greatest. It's not all doom and gloom, I guess. Now that my parent's have witnessed the teacher's being ableist, they finally believe me. And hopefully we can do something about them. And my parents also agreed to let me drop a bunch of things as long as I finish the winter term. I also got hollow knight. :) But the long and short of it is that I think I'm going to leave scratch to sort out my life. Maybe I'll come back sometimes, maybe I'll just create a new account eventually. I don't know quite yet. I stayed here for so long because I enjoyed being here, but with everything going on this place just seems like more of a burden now. In ADTOS, I'm going to kill off my characters. I'll also stop doing stormhowl storage. So sorry I've been so inconsistent with updates anyways. I thought I was helping by doing it but at this point there's no way me doing it is going to help anyone at all. For the cdc community: Keep solving ciphers, keep theorizing, hope you can help keep AI off this site. To all the people I've met on this site and to all the people I will never: you're amazing, don't give up no matter what, things get better and do what's best for you. I'll miss y'all. Bye, with platonic love from Dart.
