it's a necessary thing that my life is falling apart. it's only a reflection of me. performing feels wrong I can't anymore I need my life to match my mind it's the only way for help, for change I put my mind everywhere in my art in my terrible poetry onto my body. I keep my room just as messy as my mind, see my grades finally drop as low as my motivation to do anything about it at all. they see but do not look closer I'm trying to make them know without telling them because I can't. once I am brave enough I will make them really see my performance will drop completely I will hurt myself so badly reach a breaking point that people will see and know I'm not okay and I will finally get help and see change I will get higher and it won't be a performance.
