On December 31st, I have turned 15 years old. I honestly don’t like to celebrate my birthday. But this year was. A dumpster fire. To say the least. As for me personally? I don’t really like to vent online. I don’t like when people have concern for me but I’ll make it short. Basically my self esteem has progressively gotten worse. I honestly do not like sharing any of my interests with others, nor do I like being authentic (especially towards my family). None of them are bad people, but I felt like I have to progressively lie more and be emotionless due to the mere hatred of being vulnerable. Hell I wouldn’t even be male anymore. LOL. I’ve also been trashing on myself when I do something embarrassing or get scolded for something small. The spotlight effect sucks and it ruins my mood for the entire day every time it happens. My motivation and willpower this year has been extremely limited and I have procrastinated many times this year. And it suck that I had to cancel many small projects because of it. I feel like a slob. This year wasn’t all bad though. I’ve made many friends both irl and online, and I’ve even managed to get my grades very high. I’ve had great interactions with many people and I honestly appreciate life more.
I’m also going to move to @HeptazoidDOS . Why? Mainly cause I don’t like my old username anymore, and my old account. I keep tying it with immature things I’ve done in the past and it kinda brings bad memories in my life. I’m just gonna continue what I’ve been doing here. Just making things and planning stuff in preparation for later projects. Though I will also be starting to learn how to code (in java). Don’t worry though, I won’t delete this account. Not this time. Happy new year.
