It’s almost the end of the year. So much has happened, it’s hard to believe. It’s been a formative year for me. It’s been a painful one. I don’t regret anything. I did the best I could. But still, I wonder… could I have done anything different? could I have made things better? I don’t know. For the first time in a long time, I don’t know. Truth is scary. And sometimes it’s much easier to fall back on the gentle lies you know. But I am not that person anymore. Lots of people make new years’ resolutions. Me, I never really did. I couldn’t think of anything to change. As far as I knew, my life was perfect. But next year, I will change. I will strive for kindness. For honesty. For real friends. For real conversations. It’s been a hard day. It’s been a hard year. And there were lots of times when I felt like giving up on the whole thing. But I still believe I can make it. Even after all this time, I still believe in change.
