1/5/26 (obviously xD), 10:45 est: Guys... read that notes and credits section A S A P- This isn't clickbait, I promise- it's something from the past that echoes my present life that I didn't even remember half of but personally find amazing.
Sooo... What happened was I was going through allll of my LibreOffice files trying to see which of my broken dreams needed to die (it's... just something I'm going through), and then I found this document: "Name Meaning Thing." I haven't touched it again for at least a year. This is everything I wrote in it: "I rediscovered my real name’s Biblical meaning is, “angel from Heaven,” or “descendant/offspring of the challenger.” I understand the challenger part pretty well, but every time I think of the angel part (now ESPECIALLY since my youth group is starting a four-part series on angels), I’m like, “Heh… :) ...What angel? 0-0” Especially since the other name definition, the one that actually stuck with me, was “dark challenger,” and oh boy, has that been true for me all my life… believe me. It really, really has. And once I found out the Biblical “angel” definition side to my name, sometimes when I pair that with “dark challenger,” I’m just like, “Uuuh… ><” How ironic does that have to be again? 0-0” But nahhh, THAT definition is NOT TRUE. But me fighting darkness every day is, and it’s happening all over the place right now. Even on Scratch, and I don’t just mean in roleplay situations. In this case I mean all the bad stuff that’s out there that intoxicates our minds and twists our thinking and even changes our way of living- and not in a good way. There have been a few times throughout my life where I’ve “intentionally challenged the dark,” and man, it has gotten me into some crazy situations and led me down paths I almost didn’t come back from. And I’ll never be proud of it. But I’ve overcome those times, and I’m still learning to stand strong against it and flee from it. It’s the getting back up when it knocks me down part I’m really struggling with right now. These times are harder than ever, and I wanna be fighting the good fight. And I’ll say right now that I would not be the person I am today if it weren’t for God. Not “if it weren’t for God helping me”- I mean if it weren’t for God period. If He never led me back to Him (and He still is) all those times, if Jesus hadn’t intervened and still been with me, I may as well be nowhere near where He wants me to be. The majority of my journey as a Christian has been not only learning why and that He died to save wretches like us, including me, from our own sin and the punishment we deserved a long time ago, but also knowing what He saved me from when I look back on the bad lives I almost lived, even after I accepted Him into my heart. Now when I challenge the dark, I wanna be wise about it, and I have grown a bit wiser over the years, but if I’m going into something seriously, I’m gonna need to trust God and ask Him more often what I need to do. There’s just one thing though. For real, I wonder, how did that “angel” definition fit with my name again? XD" --- Well... it's been a wild ride (that I might share a little more about soon here...) to say the least, but... God's revealing it to me :') So I was originally gonna use this as like some sort of Christian message here on Scratch. God just turned that upside down in the best way starting with the moment I read it again. It's like the younger me wrote a message to my future self without even realizing or intending it, and it all just lines up so perfectly after all this time. What I said in those paragraphs a couple years ago are literally still me right now, and, even in the midst of change, God's still leading me through it even after 2025. And yeah, darkness does NOT suit or sit well with this "angel"- but God certainly gave me just the right fit for reasons I almost can't explain. Y'all, you have your amazing, God-given names for a reason, even if it's Bob or Sally. You never know what God might show you through them- even if it's something you wrote about them you thought was never gonna be used :') (Also, in case you really thought my real first name was gonna be in any of that you just read, well... ha ha. Sorry- go fish, ya filthy animals xD)
