for months now I've been planning on ditching all my accounts and never coming back to any platform. my mental health has been at the lowest as it has ever been. I seriously think something is wrong with me. I've been wanting to get a therapist but my parents forbid me and say that I'm not sick in the head. I honestly think I am. I've been having terrible thoughts, wishing I was never born, and so on. I've been struggling for months now, and I think I've finally let go of the ledge I've been hanging onto for dear life. my grades are terrible. my room is so messy. I'm not taking care of myself at all. I'm not eating or drinking, brushing my teeth or hair, cleaning myself. I've been bedrotting for so long that there is a hefty dent in my mattress from where my fat body lays everyday. I've lost a significant amount of friends over these past months, and I have nobody left. even my own blood brother doesn't want to talk to me. i cant talk to my parents without getting scolded. I'm so alone in this world. my mentality is destroyed. I cant get a grip on anything. I'm just a walking shell. I'm going to leave for a while. probably never going to come back on none of my accounts. this is my grave that I've dug, and I'm choosing to lay in it.
thanks for sticking around, whoever you are. I can barely remember anybody's names, but just know that you dug your way into my heart and stayed there. thank you.
