"The morning after you take your life, your mom will call your name before she evens opens your door, not knowing this time you won't answer, your little sister will knock once, then again, then open your door, because you were supposed to take her to school, and when they find you, the screaming won't sound like the movies, itll be ugly, unbelievable, your dad will fall to his knees, your brother will punch the wall, then apologize to it because it didn't deserve that, but neither did you. your best friend will get a call mid shift, she'll go silent, then throw her phone, she'll beg to the manager to leave without explaining why, the paramedics will do everything they can, but they already know. Then the police come and your body becomes a case, they'll bag your things, ask questions, write reports, while your mom sobs into her knees in the hall while strangers walk in and out of what used to be your room, someone will clean it eventually, the floor, the carpet, the walls, your pillow will still smell like you and it'll break her, your phone will keep going off, notifications from people who dont know your gone yet, your coach will email, your ex will text you saying they had a dream about you and wanted to say hi, your dentist will text you to remind a cleaning you won't ever show up to, life won't stop, and that's what makes it cruel. The sun will still shine, the bus will drive by, your friends in third period will sit with a desk painfully empty, someone will scroll back through your texts to see what they missed, what they could've done, and they'll hate themselves, for a long, long time. People will whisper, guess, judge, lie, try to make sense of something they never really will, and the people who love you won't be the same. They'll smile again, laugh eventually, but there will always be a crack in the sound, a pause before the holidays, a hole in every group photo, you won't just be missed, you'll be everywhere, and nowhere. "
btw i didnt write this and i dont know who did originally but it helped me so im sharing it:]
