Wip :) PLS DON'T LAUGH AT THE GOLD, RED AIN'T SO GOOD EITHER X.X
My parents literally make me feel so violated and uncomfortable, I have no space in my home. While I was doing my work, they randomly spawned behind me, grabbed my backpack, and looked through my folders FOR NO REASON. they had the audacity to get visibly upset when they asked me, "Why do you seem so hesitant, are you trying to hide something from us?" and I tried to fawn and calm them down by saying "no, it's not that, the thing is you just came out of nowhere and it just surprised me, but of course you can do this!! You're my parents after all" :) and they still got visibly upset - "excuse me?" LIKE IM TRYING TO AGREE WITH YOU, I'M NOT SOME REBEL! I DON'T DO ANYTHING BAD, YES I DRAW MORE THAN YOU'D LIKE, YES I'M DISORGANIZED WITH MY FOLDERS, BUT I'M NOT MISBEHAVING- They said they had the right because I was in the classes that weren't high enough (true) but JUST BECAUSE I'M STUPID AND LESS SMART THAN MY CLASSMATES DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE THE AUTOMATIC RIGHT TO LOOK THROUGH MY THINGS- While they were talking, they proceeded nearly to cry because of how messed up and the child I'm turning out to be. why are they so emotional over me? this isn't their problem. whether I am disorganized or completely proper, check with a planner isn't their concern. they proceeded to remain in my room for a good 30 minutes before finally leaving to give me some food. just now they hugged me, made me tell them what I do in study hall (I lied and said "I spent an hour on my economics assignment," and ofc had to emphasize that I "spent 30 mins chilling", they werent mad but it was still annoying that they made a comment nonetheless), and told me "I'll help you organise your things tomorrow." they didn't seem mad, but like... I still feel so disgusted because they forced me to tell everything and are asserting future conversation what the actual flip... this is why I hate when my parents are home. Every time I see that black car in the parking lot, I feel horrible on the inside, I know it's wrong but sometimes I just wish that they'd be gone every afternoon. Even today, when they got back from groceries, they yelled at me for ten minutes because I didn't respond to them calling on time (I did respond back, just not loud and fast enough, it seems). I do love my parents, but they are such an emotional burden on me. I hate the fact that I have to lie to my parents about so many things as well. this morning, my friend gave me their old French schoolbook for a late Christmas Secret Santa event we had planned for, wrapped in paper. Now I have to return it because I lied to my parents and said it was my friend's book that they lost, and I was planning to return it to them tomorrow. They were already getting upset over my drawings and a book I had (they were asking about that too, asking if it was for school, even tho it's a steampunk fantasy romance book, does it look like it's for school to u?) To be fair, my friend's gift was, admittedly, a little disappointing (I could tell it was merely an old book of theirs, likely taken from the French teacher, as it had that schoollike quality, and they expected me to be excited about a gift I didn't care all that much for, even though I did have a list of things I wanted my friends to purchase for me) but it just feels so rude to return it. And frankly, it was quite inconvenient that I must return it the day I got it from them as well.. Kinda wish she didn't knew I was learning French on Duolingo though tbh, cuz she thinks French is something I'm passionate. I'm not, i don't even have any passions (besides my ocs lol.) Update: Turns out my friend bought the book, with her own money. Looked it up, I think it was 30 bucks. I had to muster the courage to tell her that I lied to my parents, and I had to keep that lie. She looked so sad when I told her, I insisted that I keep the heavy book the whole day but she told me it was fine and she took it... :[
