I’ve never been a girl, no My sister is dead I buried her with all of the tears that I shed And now all of my water is red Red as the blood that runs down your cheek Red as the threats you keep giving me I’m your worst nightmare And I still look like I’m sixteen Love, I’m seventy-three Look me right in my eyes. And tell me you see a monster Say you can hold out A little bit longer tonight You’re gonna put up a fight But I’m never gonna die I’m a vampire Or I’m a boy, Either way, I’m Not your little toy, so Look me right in my eyes. And tell me you see a monster Say you can hold out A little bit longer tonight You’re gonna put up a fight But I’m never gonna die Look me right in my eyes. And tell me you see a monster Say you can hold out A little bit longer tonight You’re gonna put up a fight But I’m never gonna die I killed a girl, I’d kill again I killed a girl to be a man Her blood is mine still, in the end And this is how it goes He killed a girl to be a boy And now he’s a sweet liar She killed a boy to be a girl And now she’s the dead choir They killed a girl to be themself And now they’re a vampire They killed a boy to be themself And we did it all to free ourselves This is our empire Look us right in the eyes We’re never gonna die
CREDITS: - photo from pin - credits to @moonbee- for introducing me to/for having the idea of using vampirism as a metaphor for transgender people in society! ANALYSIS: - Reference to "killing" people throughout the song refers to the process a trans person undergoes upon realizing they are their preferred gender and not their assigned gender, thus leaving behind the appearance of their younger self (who I refer to here as my "sister"). - The line "Love, I'm seventy-three" refers to Christine Jorgenson's transition, which was revolutionary for physical transitioning, which occurred seventy-three years ago in 1951. "I still look like I'm sixteen" refers to the common idea that trans boys appear younger than they are, especially pre-T - "Look me right in the eyes", repeated frequently in the chorus and at the end, refers to society's fear of representing/properly acknowledging trans people, which fits nicely with the vampire metaphor - "You're gonna put up a fight / But I'm never gonna die" society continues to oppress trans people, but trans people continue to rise up as a collective to advocate for their human rights, "never dying" through generations of new trans people to continue the fight. Basically I wanted to try writing a song (specifically attempted a rock song), and my plat husband has been into vampires (especially as a metaphor for transness) so I thought it would be fun. Remember you are loved and valid :>
