Tales From Archetopia — Theme Song (Ft. BowllyTime)

Instructions

“READ IT AGAIN, NEKO!” — TFA Intro Theme Song (SFX: tiny collar beep-beep. Neko-tomigaud sits very still. Ned counts softly.) Ned (spoken): Okay buddy… stay still… three… two… one… (SFX: BEEP! Collar screen lights up.) ⸻ Chorus (Main hook) All (singing): Read it again, ‘cause this is our show! We try to say it properly, but our kitty says “NO!” The funniest names you’ve ever seen— That’s our roll-call show! ⸻ Verse 1 (Roll call chaos) Collar (screen text / everyone reads-sings): BEETLE FROWNS AFTERGLOW Brian (laughing): That’s not me— Grace/Gracia (helpful): It’s Beaten Frowns After, can’t you see? All: (laughter explodes) Collar: PITTER PICKET DOWN IN CAFFEINE STIRRUPPER Peter (cry-laughing): I can’t imagine that! All (wheezing): STIRRUPPER?! Hailey (grinning): “Hag” is fine sometimes! I’m Hag. Collar: HAGGISH BAGGAGE Hailey: OKAY— THAT ONE IS NOT FINE! (giggle-fit) Pre-Chorus (Neko moment) (SFX: Neko-tomigaud purrs. One happy “mrrp!”) Ned (spoken, trying to be serious): See? He likes it. All: (laugh harder) Chorus (Main hook) All (singing): Read it again, ‘cause this is our show! We try to say it properly, but our kitty says “NO!” The funniest names you’ve ever seen— That’s our roll-call show! Read it again, ‘cause this is our show! We try to say it properly, but our kitty says “NO!” The funniest names you’ve ever seen— That’s our roll-call show! ⸻ Verse 2 (Stage 4–6) Collar: GUILT SHOULDER GIFT HOLDER Grace/Gracia (between laughs): It’s Giltsholder— I promise! Elizabeth (trying not to laugh, fails): “Guilt Shoulder”… (snorts) Collar: EMPTY TRANCE MIX: EMOTION SENSES SENDING Elizabeth (full laugh now): WHAT?! Ned (correcting, but laughing): Eptitranxisticemestionscers Desending. All: (everyone breaks because the “correct” one is still ridiculous) (SFX: collar beep again — everyone braces.) Collar: HOPPY IN SPRITE Elizabeth (bright-eyed FNFT fan energy): Are you talking about Hoppy? Hailey (laughing): The cute little flying bunny who loves balloons?! Grace/Gracia (gentle correction): It’s Happy in Spite. (points at the collar like “focus!”) (SFX: Neko purrs proudly anyway.) All: (laugh again) Chorus (Main hook) All (singing): Read it again, ‘cause this is our show! We try to say it properly, but our kitty says “NO!” The funniest names you’ve ever seen— That’s our roll-call show! Read it again, ‘cause this is our show! We try to say it properly, but our kitty says “NO!” The funniest names you’ve ever seen— That’s our roll-call show! ⸻ Bridge (Penelope shows up + “pm, why bees…”) (SFX: collar beep-beep. Neko holds still again. Everyone leans in.) Collar (screen text / everyone reads-sings): P.M. WHY BEANS ARE VERY SILENT Penelope (deadpan, then laughing): …Beans?? Elizabeth: I’m sorry— “WHY BEANS” is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Grace/Gracia (helpful): It’s “pm, why bees are very silent.” Hailey: The collar changed the bees to beans!! (cackles) (SFX: Neko purrs like “yep. nailed it.”) ⸻ Verse 3 (Final punch into Stage 6 misread) Collar: NECKTIE TOMATO GUARD Ned: …It’s Necrotomigaud. Collar (bigger letters): NECRO… DOMINO… GUARD All: (instant uncontrollable laughter; some are crying laughing) (SFX: Neko purrs like a little engine.) ⸻ Final Chorus (Big finish) All (singing): Read it again, ‘cause this is our show! Somebody shouts the real one— we’re losing it though! Welcome to Archetopia— the animals will steal the show! THE ANIMALS WILL STEAL THE SHOOOOOW!!!~