past creebow would probably say something like “i’m so sorry for being gone that long”, but that’s not gonna happen anymore. for the past two years, i’ve been extremely hard on myself with every single project i worked on. especially with jltj the game, i kept making things more and more complicated, pushing myself to meet expectations i slowly created in my own head. at some point, i didn’t even notice that this pressure was eating me from the inside. creating stopped feeling right. it stopped feeling fun, and turned into something i had to keep up with, instead of something i wanted to do. scratch literally became my job lol. three weeks ago, i had to deal with family loss and was gone for a while. during that time, i realized how much i’ve been forcing myself creatively for a long time. i’m slowly getting better again, and i want to change how i approach all of this. from now on, i’m removing deadlines, pressure, and expectations from my work. i don’t want to create for others anymore, but for myself again. if i feel like doing animations, characters, or just playing with ideas, i won’t force them to become something big or perfect. i’ve been doing the opposite for way too long. don’t expect any major activity from me for a while, until i fully regain energy. i might even cancel some things if that feels better for me. this isn’t a leaving message, it’s just me learning from my mistakes and avoiding getting this burnout again also, just to be clear: this is only about myself. no one did anything wrong, and no one is involved in this. but enough serious talk. i don’t want to fill my profile with hurly-burly all over :)
