So here's why I made this song. For a few that know me well I currently like someone.,,Though here's the issue! I'm aroaceflux therefore 95% of the time I can't tell if I like someone or if I just wanna be friends with them but I'm sure I like her this time. I used to fall in love, but the rare times I did I was heartbroken. Whether it was rejection, toxicity, getting replaced after confessing etc.. Ever since then I've been scared to love people cause what if they don't like me back?? What if I'm spending all my time thinking about someone who might not care about me at all. Or even worse, they like somebody else, and that someone else isn't me. That's why, there are so many complexities when it comes to the concept of love, and what if it ends up the exact same with this crush. What if I get my heartbroken again? I'm too scared to try this time based on my past experiences. I feel like if this continues on I may never find love cause of my own fears. I wanted to write a song about it cause..well..it's just been on my mind for a while. I get really mentally drained when I like people cause I start overanalyzing and overthinking every single moment, word, gesture etc. It feels impossible to love when I'm always entering this state. I don't know how to express my love for others in general, when i like someone i feel like I'm acting too desperate and it'll push them away, or i act too romantic, so i just stop. but they'll never know if i dont give them a hint..it's so confusing, how do others comprehend this? What if she's like the rest? Will she leave me if I say I like her..or if I even manage to say that I do. I don't know; I'm scared, and I guess I gotta go see for myself. DURATION: 3:38
LYRICS ---------- [VERSE 1] too scared to give out my devotion to someone who could throw it all away in seconds I don't wanna waste my time thinking of you all day and night while I'm probably the last person you'd text when you have free time [PRE CHORUS] have I been on ur mind atleast once when I'm not around? I'm too scared to love someone again have you talked about me when ur tongues free of deceit I'm too scared to fall in love again [CHORUS] oh but look where we are I'm caring too much about someone who's probably never thought about me I'm never gonna ask I'm too scared for the outcome cuz its a surprise whats it gonna be I don't know... I cant see i like it when I know less cause I don't wanna be in that memory again so I'll push it down the drain and pretend that these feelings left [VERSE 2] usually it's times like this where I cant get out of bed cause it feels impossible with ur image in my head constantly reminding myself that it'll never work out so I need to put it behind myself you've taken over my brain so pretty that it worsens the pain I wish I didn't feel this way but why does it make me feel safe? this is like a magic spell that only you can cast maybe I'll be free from the chains of love at last [PRE-CHORUS] I don't know what's my fg problem and why my heart's beating so fast I wanna be you but I wanna be with you and it sets me off so quick can you hear my voice from the background screaming I wanna be here with you if I said it would you think it's true? [CHORUS] oh but look where we are I'm caring too much about someone who's probably never thought about me im never gonna ask I'm too scared for the outcome cuz its a surprise what it's gonna be I don't know... I cant see i like it when I know less cause I don't wanna be in that memory again so I'll push it down the drain and pretend that these feelings left