I'm sorry that I haven't been posting that much. I'm sorry that I'm never good enough in the eyes of my mom. I'm sorry that I can't be like you. I'm sorry that I went down a different path. I'm sorry that I hurt myself as a way to let it go. I'm sorry that I can't stop screaming and crying quietly into my pillowcase every night. I'm sorry that I have a terrible past. I'm sorry that I'm so thin. I'm sorry that I can't feel much emotion. ... And I'm sorry that I can't keep up with what I've promised. I'm trying. I am truly trying. But I can't. I can't keep up. I can't keep going. I can't. And I don't want to anymore. I'm done... ...And I'm sorry. Truly. Sorry. ============================================= For context: I watched my father get taken away in police cars when I was 7-8 yrs. (He's on parole now.) I watched my grandma d13. I have depression. I (sometimes) do NSSH. Because of my trauma, I find it hard to show/regulate my emotions easily. I often look at my past self and wish that nothing ever happened.
