I’ll be honest with you all, I didn’t think I’d be back here. Thinking about scratch, for a long time, would give me extremely negative feelings, even when I was back briefly in early 2025. And, to be frank, it still does. But a lot has changed since then, and I’ve done a lot of reflection. I don’t like who I was earlier, to be honest. I was inconsistent both with responses to people and with deadlines, I was often abrasive, and I would be irresponsible with the audience I had, and I want to be entirely clear with all of you. I do not condone any of the things I previously did. I do not condone publicly sharing links to various outside sources to minors that lacked any form of censorship. I do not condone the fact that, two years ago, I would often be explicit with others publicly. I do not condone the fact that I would harass others over minor differences and spread rumors. These are things that used to haunt me. I was, quite frankly (I should stop saying “frankly”), awful to others in ways I don’t believe I can repair. But as I’ve grown up and developed, I’ve realized that holding onto these things won’t help me or others, and was counterproductive to my healing, and it was counterproductive to others when I would attempt to contact them or show back up in the same spaces I used to occupy. I’ve also come to realize something very important; I was extremely young. The responsibilities I placed upon myself and others placed on me were heavy, and the reason my actions had such impact were because I was in a role that allowed what would normally be normal parts of puberty to affect others in ways it never should have. This does not mean my actions were correct or morally justified in any way. What it means is that I was young, I was stupid, and that this is something that I’ve grown past. For those that were effected by the actions I took, you don’t have to forgive me. It’s not something you have to forgive me for. I don’t deserve forgiveness, it’s something I have to earn, and if I never do, that’s fine. For those who were left in the dark about events without results, I apologize for that as well. It was irresponsible of me to make the work of nearly hundreds have been for nothing. Now, after reflecting for a long time, I want to let myself enjoy the things I used to enjoy. I want to enjoy scratch again, without the weight of worrying about views, or followers, or other’s opinions. I want to be free to do what I want to do, because punishing myself never fixed anything. I’ll forgive my younger self, because they were stupid, they were reckless, but holding onto this any longer won’t help anyone. What will I do now? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll post an ota. Maybe a dta? Whatever I’ll do, it’ll be something I have fun with. And if I don’t post anything? That’s fine too. At least I’ll be happy Anyways bye lol. For those of you who didn’t know I did any of this when I was 12-13. I did! And it was bad. And I won’t do it again. Especially now because I’m at the point where I’m older than the average scratch user. It’s insane to think my audience used to be older than me here.
