I feel beyond inadequate. I spent upwards of two weeks working on my Sinc model. But, as soon as I finished it, a part of me just can't shake the feeling that it looks like utter garbage. It's filled to the brim with deformities (ones requiring me to start all over again to fix, and even THEN I can't guarantee it'll work). It seems like EVERY decently complex model I make is filled with deformities I can't fix. I just stink. I feel so passionate for 3D modeling, but I can't even model a freaking HAND on my own without issue. I spent almost THREE HOURS modeling a hand only to give up and use an open source one. And even then, when I rigged it, it just didn't work right. When I do quite literally anything, I can't help but feel like it stinks. Whenever I get excited about something I've created and show my parents, it's easy to tell they're disinterested. Especially my dad. I love him, but it's incredibly easy to tell he doesn't really care all too much about the things I create. I don't really think that's the source of the issue, but every time I make a game, draw something on paper, or model something in Blender - consistently an overwhelming rush of negativity consumes my head. I don't think I'm good enough. I've fought tooth and nail to try and be a good artist, practiced for YEARS ON END, but there are people that are just infinitely better than me. I saw an animator on Youtube making videos that are already LEAGUES better than anything I've ever made, and he's like...eight years old. That, or twelve, but that's besides the point. I can't win. I'm not good enough. I won't EVER be good enough. I don't really like to throw pity parties at ALL but I really feel like I need to get this off my chest.
