Today i felt something... Different. I have no clue why, but my whole house just felt different. It felt... Like i was ten years old again. Like i was a kid, walking through my home. No point to much anything i do, yet everything i do feels so nice, happy, and meaningful. I felt small again. Like if i looked up the ceilings would, again, feel like they went up forever. Like if i stood at my backdoor, the walkway to the front would again look like the racetrack i had once made it into. And if i stepped into my old, smaller, bedroom it would again be a light yellow, not the blue it is now. Like there would be toys scattered across the floor, and the tv would be turned to disney or nickelodeon. And it smelled... Like fresh air. Like a morning, getting ready for elementary school in my moms bedroom. Then it all stopped. It smelled like normal, fresh air. The house seemed to shrink as i realized i was no longer small. The feeling of the house being young and fresh, gone. And i realized. My house is old. I am old. I have changed. My house has changed. My everything is different and cannot go back to the better times of blissful ignorance, when though two pages of homework a week was way too much. When i though that the only numbers were 1-infinity. When school meant learning to add and count and read. And nothing bad ever happened. When everything was perfect. Now, nothing is perfect. school is hard. And letters can stand in as numbers. Im 14, not 7, not 9, and not 10. Im not a kid. I never will be. Snd it hurts. Today i felt a pain. A new pain i didn't know yet. That pain is accepting the death of your childhood. And that no matter how hard you try, nothing can bring you back to the days when you were little...
Lots of reading. In short today my childhood died because i realized i can never be young again. Oh and umm... To every young scratcher... Enjoy your childhood. It doesn't last forever. Make good memories, spend your time well, and please do every little crazy scheme you think up. If you feel it would be fun to go outside and smash some things with a rock do it! Your only a kid one, so please have fun.
