⭒ counting crows : cawkit application (I)

Notes & Credits

+ When he wakes up, fey spend a long time thinking about what he saw, turning symbols over in feir mind, searching for meaning in colors, numbers, fragments of words, feelings, and sounds, no matter how weird or illogical the dream might be. Fey believes that if something appears in a dream, it must have a meaning. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have appeared… right? This fascination ties closely to feir belief in StarClan. Cawkit is sure that all of these signs have to be sent by a higher being. Fey deeply believe that the ancestors of the clans are the ones sending him these signs, trying to tell fem what was going to happen next. Understanding them, on the other paw, is the most difficult thing about all of that- it requires patience, intelligence and a lot of determination. This makes fem thoughtful and perceptive, but also anxious, because fey’re always worried about misinterpreting something important or missing a message meant only for him. Cawkit is extremely afraid of what might happen if he accidentally reads one of the omens the wrong way. What if feir mistake is going to cost other cat’s lifes- or worse? That’s the main reason he is afraid of his own dreams. But fey aren’t the type of cat that runs trying to escape the fear’s sharp claws. Instead from running, he studies it with an almost unsettling curiosity that can almost be titled as an obsession. He doesn’t only want to know why his own mind unsettles fem, but the whole concept of fear itself- why cats are scared and some are not. Some of feir ideas are surprisingly deep and poetic, while others sound more like crazy conspiracies. Cawkit doesn’t believe in coincidences- there has got to be a reason why he’s scared of various things, situations, thoughts and concepts. It has to be another sign. Around other cats, Cawkit presents himself as confident and composed. Fey carefully tries to appear perfect, knowledgeable, and unshaken at all times. He often seems arrogant, as if fey know more than everyone else, or because he’s the “chosen one” of the prophecy and better than everyone else. But this confidence is mostly a shield. Deep down, he feels undeserving of the reputation that came with the prophecy and believes that respect must be earned through effort, not fate. Fey is terrified of failing and proving that he was never meant for this role. After all, he didn’t do anything at all to get all of this good reputation- fey was already born with it, and it doesn’t feel right in his eyes. Fey doesn’t feel like he deserves it. Despite his guarded nature, Cawkit is genuinely willing to help others. Fey enjoys offering his “prophetic powers” to others, interpreting their dreams and signs they saw. Fey mainly does this to feel like he is contributing something to his high reputation though, to live up to feir own expectations rather than actually liking to help. Well, almost. Cawkit somehow feels closer to StarClan when helping others, as if feeling their judging gaze between his shoulders. Cawkit constantly feels as being tested by them, constantly trying to prove that fey deserve the stars watching over him. ⊱ ──────────── ⋅☽ ◯ ☾⋅ ──────────── ⊰ ─☽ [ iii ] ⋅ identity ☾ ⊱ cisgender male genderfaunet ⊱ 84% male - 2% female - 14% other ⊱ he / fey (might add neopronouns) ⊱ He looked up to face the sky, feir eyes glowing in the faint light. Cawkit began to count the crows far above fem- one, two, three, four, five and six, seven, eight. A wish. ⊱ unlabelled demisexual (either omnisexual or pansexual, might be heterosexual tho :shrug:) ⊱ 22% male - 54% female - 24% other ⊱ gyneromantic ⊱ 3% male - 72% female - 25% other ⊱ ──────────── ⋅☽ ◯ ☾⋅ ──────────── ⊰ ─☽ [ iv ] ⋅ family dynamics ☾ ⊱ Bluebellcrest ⊱ Cawkit acts like he doesn’t like his father, like fey wants blu to leave him alone. But deep down in his tiny heart, fey loves the attention he gets. In fact, he almost worships feir father- Cawkit follows him around everywhere, looking for approval and always trying to fit Bluebellcrest’s expectations since these often seem to match his own ones. Cawkit sees his father not only as a parental figure, but also as his guide through life. Bluebellcrest being a medic really impresses the small kitten, making fem look up to him even more. To impress his father (and to be nearer to StarClan), Cawkit considers following in his father’s footsteps and becoming a medic himself. That makes fem sit all day in the medic den from time to time, watching his father work. While other kittens might play leader or play-fight, Cawkit prefers play-pretending healing other cats. Sometimes fey enters the medic den to bring Bluebellcrest tons of various leaves, hoping that some of them are herbs and that his father can use them in some way. That is simply Cawkit’s way of seeing his father as a role model :3c ⊱ ──────────── ⋅☽ ◯ ☾⋅ ──────────── ⊰