i think . . . ☼ spider’s realization

Instructions

( tw. mentions of leaving . if that triggers anyone i would highly recommend not reading this <3 ) ❝ i never thought i could feel like this . ❞ the days felt like forever . they turned into quarter moons , and those turned into moons . the moons turned into seasons away from meander and it felt like it was tearing spidercall apart . he told himself she was just a friend , he couldn’t be anything more . this is how others are supposed to feel away from their friends , like they were losing a piece of themself right ? spider certainly wouldn’t know , for he didn’t have a lot of friends . but then he heard a story . it was something he wasn’t even supposed to be in , but he was eating his food one morning when he heard an older cat talking about their first love . or rather , the first one that ever truly mattered . they were “ forbidden “ the cat called it , from different clans . whenever they didn’t see each other , it felt like they were incomplete . like life wasn’t truly worth living away from them . like . . . like they were “ soulmates “ . they shared the same soul . and all spider could think was of how alike that sounded to him and meander . spider realized , that friends hearts shouldn’t beat extra fast when thinking about the other . and spider thought about meander a lot . more than was friendly . all the signs pointed to him liking her more than friends . . . but he just needed the last push . him realizing it as well . and now that he did , he truly didn’t know what to do . but the cat said being forbidden tore them apart . spider would not get torn apart . he wanted to ask meander first . how she felt . tell him about how spider felt . make sure that meander was okay with him even thinking about moving . he wanted to be in his life though , her kits life . spider was sure she would be okay with it . even just as friends , but maybe the signs he saw in himself were signs he saw too ? ❝ it’s so weird thinking about leaving the place i grew up in . ❞ he would have to ask moonie . he loved her so much , his sister , but they were growing further and further apart every second , and he just wanted to be happy . for them both to be happy , and maybe space would make the heart grow fonder ? he would have to leave though , to achieve what he had been striving for the last couple of moons , because maybe it wasn’t just “ liking her “ . maybe it was more , but he had to leave to explore that concept . so he would , with open eyes and an open heart . ❝ i would fight an entire war for meander . is that weird ? ❞