TW: Mention of; God Crying Self-hate M3ds [ Please don't report this! ] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Slowly Know Me I like to cry from time to time. But i'm not allowed to cry, I kind of wish I knew why, I love the rain, but it becomes a pain, listening to the same lecture "I know, but I still want to go." But I won't say that, Because it's rude to talk back. So I think it instead, Then I hide it away, on the top of the shelf, knowing, it's going to fall one day. I love art, I wish I could make what I worked so hard on come alive. I show it to all I care, but they shrug it off, then I realize; Maybe it's not that good. So I put it up, with my thoughts, one day I will see if it's still there. I don't like me, I'm too nothing. At least, that's what I think. I feel like everything about me is wrong. I'm too scared to speak I'm overweight I'm always worried about others. Not me. Never me. I wish people could see I cared. People pleaser, I think that's what I am. "I promise I'm nice," I hope "I'm not that bad," I wish, Even though I compare myself to garbage. I never liked me I'm insufferable in my eyes I feel alone, I feel insecure, I'm anxious 24/7 that's why, I need m3ds to keep me straight, to keep bad thoughts away but it doesn't always work not every time. I've been told I overthink, that's fine with me. I love dreaming. I love to imagine It makes me unique, and it makes me love me, just a little. I wonder why I don't like me But I also wonder how others don't see the real me Maybe I should look past that, and see; not the scars and bruises, not the tears I cried, not the life I live, but who I want to be. I may not like me, but I'm getting there. It's going to take time. But hopefully, I won't forget, what makes me, me. I love to dream, I think of everything, But I can't write it down, It's hard to remember and keep up. Sometimes, my brain moves faster, then the speed of light. Quicker then my hands can write I space out, I draw it out, I think constantly, but it's not enough, even if it's overflowing in my mind I get anxious socially. I don't like speaking up, I want to be loved so much. Every day I try my best Breathe in, Breathe out, It doesn't always work. but it's okay. A hug or two, will do. I love my friends, I have trouble explaining how much they mean to me, They aren't perfect, but to me they are even their mistakes don't matter, not to me. Have you ever wondered, "What could I do right?" The thoughts that haunt you, and never leave your side? Because I do, It's frustrating, I try to avoid it, I try to run away, hide from it, but nothing works. It finds its way back. every time. I love God, I hope He knows that, I wish I could give Him a hug. I love Jesus, He's my Brother I care and love so dearly. I love how He put the details in the world. "Appreciate the little things" I've been told And he knows; I'll try, I'm a dreamer, a inventor, an author, a artist, and more. I love my dreams, my thoughts, my mind, and other things at times. I wish I could share but it's hard to explain, especially when there's a million ways it could end up going wrong. Hopefully I helped, in a way or two, I'm still down, but that's for now. I believe in you, Keep moving, You got this, I love you, like my sibling You could be a stranger but that doesn't matter, not to me. ~ Love Z
I made this poem myself!!! <3
