╭═══════ -----♡----- ════════╮ ⸝⸝ welcome to @yvesou 's diaryˊᗜˋ ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀ヽ ╰ ⊳ ꒰ welcome !! ⤵︎ ✦ ᤱ︵ Confessions ~ enjoy! ︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶ : fotd @ivorielle FOLLOW NOW >< ╭────── ᶜᵒⁿᵗᵉⁿᵗˢ ───────╮ ┊ ૮꒰˶ - ˕ -꒱ა ⇢ 1 ᶻ⟶ #info + #project ┊ ૮꒰˶ - ˕ -꒱ა ⇢ 2 ᶻ⟶ #creds ┊ ૮꒰˶ - ˕ -꒱ა ⇢ 3 ᶻ⟶ #tags ╰────────୨ৎ────────╯ >//< ⚞ #INFO ⺌ . ۫ · ୨ৎ ͜ ◞ ≡ ⠀︶︶︶︶⠀ ︶︶︶︶⠀ ︶︶︶︶⠀ ︶︶︶︶⠀ ︶︶︶︶ all about the project! Uhm there's not much to say. How have you been lately? Im happy to have a yap session with u guys today!! Happy guise aside this new year hasn't been great and I feel like I haven't gotten too deep with anyone like this b4 so just letting u know that you all are my friends and I feel comfortable with you guys. I just realized that I subconsciously listen to classical music and UK house garage when I'm sad TT. anyways tysm for always being there for me. lets begin... I feel like I haven't talked to anybody this year. I havent gotten personal with anyone either. sometimes I assign a word that matches the theme for the new year. this year's title is "Year of Reflection" I say this because my life outlook isn't the best right now. I'm not just physically or mentally tired, my soul is tired. Im tired of living a life that doesn't align with the person I wanted to be. I have been separating from the social norms, inside jokes, socializing, and expressing my feelings. All of the isolation removed the spark from my usual demeanor. HELP why am I crying? Any who, any shoe, I feel like I've lost everything that helped me be myself. I never speak to my family which honestly isn't surprising imo but my friends say that they always talk to their family. My family is much more "Celine from kpdh" coded though. I've never been this down in a long time. I'm not used to being so upset that it's genuinely scary. Idk why but I have this gut feeling that my life has been going downhill ever since the start of the new year. My parents are disappointed in basically everything I do but I'm obligated to love them bc they're my parents and I'm still a minor so I can't really go anywhere else or go against them. Idk if anyone can relate to this but, because I've faked being happy and I've been numb and upset inside for so long, I feel like it just consumed me. The amount of anxious and horrifying thoughts I've had was actually concerning now that I'm looking back. I remember writing this down, and I quote, "Im not the smart one or the artist. If that's not who I'm identified as anymore, what am I?" I feel like those were the two labels that meant EVERYTHING to me. those labels were to compensate for the fact that I felt so alone and insecure all the time. I still care about being kind and accepting but I feel like it's not worth it. Im starting to realize that my sense of self worth means so much but its slowly diminishing. I've been through therapy and fake friends and every time I make friends with someone, I expect to lose them almost immediately. now I have a stable friendship situation but then again, making friends cant help with my personal life. My friends, G and H both try to lift me up but I want to humble myself and I see compliments as ego boosting. Thank you for listening to my vent. -Rami ꒰ঌᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ໒꒱ ❀ ⚞ ⺌ . ۫ · ୨ৎ ͜ ◞ ≡ ⠀︶︶︶︶⠀ ︶︶︶︶⠀ ︶︶︶︶⠀ ︶︶︶︶⠀ ︶︶︶︶ crediting is really important ! ⇄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀Desc inspo : ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Banner : Project: ❀ ₍^. .^₎Ⳋ ⚞ ⺌ . ۫ · ୨ৎ ͜ ◞ ≡ ⠀︶︶︶︶⠀ ︶︶︶︶⠀ ︶︶︶︶⠀ ︶︶︶︶⠀ ︶︶︶︶ little reminder ⚠ don't take any aspect of my account or anyone else's accounts without asking, when taking inspo, you should also ask when crediting for inspo etc.
FYI : This is not to say that I am leaving scratch. I will be staying here for a while and I hope no one got that idea.
