WARNING: If you get emotional easily I wouldn’t recommend reading. The desire to not exist is NOT about self-destruction or wishing to never have been. The desire to not exist The desire to not exist is a combination of boredom depression and nostalgia that lingers in your mind, But the delirious ache of desire also resides here. Im the silence of eternity we get our glimpse at nothingness, an eternity that the self remains immutable and thats what could be so dreadful about it, self is a heavy burden, it the total freezing of Motion the minds inability to escape itself Develops and could cause its own form of suffering. Sickness unto death Individuality can cause suffering, the world is made up of will and representation. Human being each have their own will distinct from others. Each person can only witness a small portion of the universe causing them to have their own perspective’s, longings, and pains. As long as humans live with their separate identities, there will be pain and suffering. The pains of one can be inflected on others in the process of becoming close with another person. The idea of taking every individual’s unique perspective and combing it into a single unit, is one of the greatest but most horrifying solutions to world harmony. “Man desire is the desire of the other” Desires form as a response to our uniqueness and individuality. The other can be visualized as someone who is simply not you, another description is as a more ematic character “the big other”, is the desire to understand desires they are not a person but a symbol, category. Desire comes from the lack in life and all desire craves recognition. Desire comes from your best guess to what your big other lacks or desires, which is always present in your mind, which can cause people to build decisions snd bonds. The individual will of self as a pointless strive with no end, making you suffer from your wants, which you’ll only create in results of an initial dissatisfaction. Ones desire can repel others, and one can never truly comprehend what the other desires. The burden of desire easily finds itself misdiagnosed with pain, where the burden of desiring over another can introduce feelings of shame snd failure, making full circle back to the desire to not exist. Shame In the case of desire, Shame is showing disappointment to one’s self or another for not being desired, the feeling of self failure. Shame is a feeling one can only feel in front of an audience, even if it’s in your own mind. Shame is viewed from the outside perspective of one’s body, which is that of the big other. The desire of the big other is complicated, because it’s desire is of not what it’s self wants but of what others want. One can think life is full of good and still not want to fully take part in it, because they’ve already deemed themselves as a problem instead of the clear victim, of others desires and the manipulation of one’s own identity. “Rebelling against all existence one thinks one has acquired evidence against existence, against its goodness. The despairer thinks that he himself is the evidence”(Kierkegaard). Acting against one’s desire or disproving or disgusted of one’s own desire lead back to shame, both leaving your mental state vulnerable to the big other. Desire will play a role In the effect of shame, because the nature of our wants is an important part of the self. Despair Feeling Despair over rejection is truly despair over one’s self. The desire to not exist is an expression of frustration at one’s self existence, despair builds In each of us as we learn the truth that we are not one. Rejection can indefinitely hurt someone who desperately wants to be desired. One who suffers from the desires to not exist truly desire to have no desires, wanting to experience life with peace and the freedom of not wanting, dissociating themselves from themselves. The cold feeling of nothingness is a last resort option for desire, an attitude of distancing one’s self is fully displayed in the desire to not exist. Loss I had to remove the last section, because i was so deep into writing that I didn’t realize it was becoming incoherent for any person to read. I will not be rewriting this section. In a way I believe some things are better off without an ending. (I spent 3 hours writing this thanks for reading)
