Lies I Tell the Kids I Babysit. By David Lies I’ve told the kid I babysit: The earth was jealous of the sky, and because of that, huge chunks of it turned green with jealousy, and that's why grass is green. Praying mantis are priests reincarnated. The sky had two kids, the sun and moon, and they’re playing a game of keep away, and that's why you don't really see them together very often. Sea foam is the ocean's french tipped finger nails. The ocean is in love with the moon, but they can never be together, but the ocean sends its tides out to try to reach for it, anyways. The moon changes shape because it’s a very fancy teenage girl, who can't decide which suits her best, so she’s always changing them. Maybe to impress the ocean. Tsunamis happen when the ocean throws a temper tantrum. The stars are where the fabric of reality separates a bit, and you can see heaven through them. The spider who climbed up the spout learned how to swim, and is married to the very hungry caterpillar, who’s now a chef. Hell is made up, like taxes. The tooth fairy eats teeth. Fairies live in nightlights, which is why they’re so effective against monsters. I’m certified in Monster Management, and I got my training at Wal-Mart. I will always be your babysitter.
Im not sure how to spell walmart
