CW: Mentions of d34th ___ He hadn’t been able to get Cellias’s d34th out of his head for days now. He wasn’t paranoid, or scared in any way– in fact he hadn’t known how to feel– he just kept thinking about it idly. There wasn’t anything inherently special about it, there had been other executions that he had witnessed before, and yet this one kept its brand marking on his brain. He brushed his fingers through his hair, pushing open the door to Yale’s room. His main duty for today was a patrol walk, and they had insisted that Yale accompany him. Yale looked up, hearing Emrys open the door. “You ready to go?” He asked. Emrys nodded, which caused Yale to get up and go over to him. He studied him for a moment, before re-tying the string on Emrys’s half-cloak, mumbling, “Tie it properly… you look like a mess,” as he did so. He then walked past Emrys, Emrys slowly turning to follow him. Emrys had never been outside the following much. Before being assigned a mentor, he often would skip patrol walks, usually by locking himself in his dormitory or just flat-out hiding. He didn’t get the point in it. He knew why they did them, but he didn’t think they absolutely /needed/ to do them. His first patrol walk had also happened to include the first d34th he ever witnessed– they had caught an outlier along the way, and the outlier was subsequently k!113d, they didn’t even hesitate. He’d grown used to seeing people d!3– everybody had in fact– there had been a rise of ‘traitors’ within the following lately, therefore a rise in executions. It felt like every few months the following just grew smaller and smaller. He suddenly felt a hand on his back, forcefully pushing him forward. He had started to lag behind Yale, so Yale had brought Emrys in front of him. The sudden movement forced him out of his thoughts, and he turned his head to give Yale a thankful nod. Yale did not nod back. As they continued, Emrys had to continuously force his mind to not wander– if he lost focus again it would certainly warrant a thorough scolding from his mentor, even if he couldn’t help it. When they made it past the red-marking point– which marked being out of help-distance from the following– something caught Emrys’s eye. In the corner of his vision, he saw a figure– a person– standing. He paused in his tracks, turning his head to stare at them, making eye contact. It was an outlier. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. “What are you staring at?” He snapped his head towards Yale when he spoke, jerking him out of his small trance. “I–” He glanced back again, noticing the look on the outlier’s face, pure, raw terror. He hesitated, then turned his head back to Yale, “...Nothing, I thought I saw something.” Yale nodded, then swerved back towards the direction they had been heading, gesturing to Emrys with his hand, “Get a move on then. We don’t have time to waste. We have to loop back to homebounds before night.” Emrys nodded, “...Right.” He then jogged forward, falling back into step with Yale– not looking back at the outlier to make sure Yale didn’t notice them as well. Emrys shut the door to his dormitory with a low click. They had gotten back to the following just in time, and due to nightfall coming within a few minutes, Emrys was exempt from the rest of his daily duties, allowing him to head back to his room. He didn’t go to his bed right away– instead, he stared at his hands. Thoughts of Cellias, the outlier, what Yale had said– they all popped into his head at once. “I don’t belong here…” He mumbled, touching the string on his half-cloak, “I shouldn’t be in this place…” He turned back to this dormitory door, watching it for a moment, “...Whatever. Screw it.” Once nightfall fully hit, and everyone was in their rooms, Emrys stepped out. The silence was frightening, yet at the same time, oddly comforting– like a warm embrace as soon as you enter a place unknown to you. He moved quickly and silently, stopping at the entrance to the following. A sudden feeling of hesitation ran over him, causing his eyebrows to furrow– did he really want this? With what he was doing, death might as well be a guarantee. He shook his head, untying his half-cloak– he /had/ to do this. He knew he’d d!3 either way. His execution if he stayed in the following would be inevitable– so if he didn’t, he’d just d!3 unfulfilled. He fully took off his half-cloak, and then pried his wristband off. Before exiting the following, he looked behind him, allowing himself a silent, final goodbye. He then absolutely booked it, running as fast as he could– he wasn’t sure where he would go, but that didn’t matter at the moment.
[ Yale had seen Emrys leave the following btw, he just didn't intervene bc he actually saw himself in Emrys, and he had always wanted to do the same thing himself ]
