click to look through r-abbi art ( it’s from maybe 2 or 3 months ago so it’s not so good… excuse that i guess ) hiii so i copied and pasted some BEAUTIFUL story from pages. i was like 8… enjoy! if you can ( my notes about the story are in notes and credits ) enjoy ! [ btw i have not changed ANYTHING about this ;-; ] Chapter 1: Christmas Day Chris woke up so quickly my sheets flew across the room, it was Christmas! He rushed and jumped onto the sofa but there was no presents to be seen, except a letter with a 50 pound bill sellotaped to it. He read the letter in shock it said: sorry we couldn’t come to spend Christmas with you, we are on a big business trip and we will be back at 30th January, but here is some money to go into town yours sincerely, dad ‘what happened to his mother?’ you ask, well she passed away when he was only 3 and he still has a framed picture of toddler him and his mom playing guess who by his own rules ( for example ‘who’s a hat?’) his dad also had some video footage but you can’t frame that. Chris went to go get his breakfast but he didn’t feel like it so he went to go spend the money. as He put on my shoes to go into town. but for some unknown reason when He opened the door I just couldn’t for some reason. He slowly panicked as I pulled the handle as hard as I could until it opened. and that took at least 3 minutes.He put on my coat ready to head out until He realised why it was so hard to open the door. it was completely white. a thick layer of snow was covering the door. He decided to grab my shovel and start digging When Chris finally dug up a big enough hole, he crouched through it and stomped through the thick, white snow. His neighbour, Kyle always greeted him but not today so he knocked on the door , still no reply so he looks through his window, horrified. He saw him watching the news about a man who died in a car accident, and a picture of his dad. Then finally Kyle opens the door looking stunned “ Were you watching me…” He said . Chris nodded. “ Come inside it’s probably freezing” He slowly walks inside and rubs his shoes against his mat in big letters ‘ home sweet home’ . “ Umm that was your dad right”. Chris didn’t know what to say but he reckoned it wasn’t so all he said was “probably not”. Chris is just about to go back into the white streets until the news mention his dads name. He shocked but mostly, scared. he instantly slammed the door and left Kyle’s house. He continued his path slowly. He was so stunned to know his dad died.
scroll down for my whole critique: first of all, the main problem you’ll see is that I kept switching from first person to third?? idk what i was even thinking… also why does chris’ life suck ?? why is his name even chris?? .°(ಗдಗ。)°. this is genuinely like those christmas stories that start with the character getting fired .. even though i didn’t know the trope at the time … also chris and kyle ARE TOTALLY gay it’s canon i’m the author i can do this i genuinely love how the only photo chris had ever photographed with his mother was them playing guess who… no birthday photos or anything…? also i know what you’re thinking, guess who?? why is it so specific? i dont know myself but i can explain why included it ….. I’m not sure if this is a british thing … but i played guess who a lot at this age… i dont know myself but i can explain why i included it, this is a thing my younger sister did where she would genuinely INFURIATE me by making her own ‘ guess who ‘ rules chris lowkey living through the stuff going on in america right now though ( i’m british lmao so i wouldn’t really know ) also yeah i have a part two for this but i was like 8 so it’s like it’s 2 sentences long.. i also have a really long 7 part story about a mad science teacher ( it’s so awful ) ♡ and ☆ if you want to see part 2! ( it doesn’t face the awful first person but it’s still little me so it’s funny! )
