NOTE: PARTS HAVE BEEN DEEMED NONCANON. The Chair, strapped to Specca’s operating table, inexplicably whistles as he awaits his dissection. Specca arrives, carrying a clipboard, and greets the Chair before sitting down with a weirdly non-menacing “Let’s get started, shall we?”. They ask the Chair various medical questions the Chair struggles to answer on account of being a chair and not really having a normal body. The Chair sarcastically remarks that he hopes Specca got a good grade in shop class, because their normal dissection tools might not make the cut (pun intended). Specca thinks about this for a moment, and we cut to the Chair being strapped to a different table, now by a buzzsaw, sander, and various other woodworking tools in a woodshop. Specca then pulls out a chainsaw and readies to stick it in one of the Chair’s cracks. The Chair asks if he at least gets one last meal. One last phone call? One last war? Specca stops. They suppose that they COULD allow a phone call, but some Revenant guys would need to capture Eren first to allow for such, and they don’t feel like waiting for that to happen. The Chair tells Specca that his bag’s full of little mutated fish people if they want to dissect those while they wait. Specca, unable to resist the challenge of operating on biological anomalies, agrees, though does acknowledge they’re aware the Chair is stalling, and won’t hesitate to cut him in half if he tries anything funny. As Specca dissects the fish, the Chair awkwardly tries to make some small talk, asking what they do when they’re not cutting stuff open. Specca pauses for a moment, and we see a brief montage of them trying (and failing) to get into various hobbies like knitting, fishing, and mountain biking. Specca answers the Chair’s inquiry with a simple shrug and goes back to the fish. The Chair states that Specca seems kinda lonely, and that maybe they should try getting into dating. Specca, however, doesn’t seem fond of the idea. This would’ve lead into…stay with me, here…an animatic musical number (without actual singing, it would’ve just had the words shown like a karaoke thing), where the Chair tells Specca how great love is. I don’t know how this idea came to me, but I thought it was really funny (and would please the Mecca shippers), so I was planning on it. I didn’t write any lyrics or anything, but I wanted to rhyme “Specca” two different times using both pronunciations of it to confuse people, and the musical number would’ve ended with Chair basically asking Specca if they’ll give love a shot, with the rhyming scheme setting Specca up to say “Yes!”, but they instead kill the rhyme by just saying “Maybe.” The Chair decides that’s a good enough response, and the number ends. Just then, some Revenant minions barge in, carrying a tied up Eren. They then quietly set him down on a spare table and leave. Eren looks over at the Chair, surprised that he’s alive, and demands to know what’s going on. The Chair asks if Eren can send a call to the third house south of Duke’s Keep, over in Crownbreaker territory, and Eren asks why he would ever do that. Specca says that if he makes this take any longer, they’ll dissect HIM, and Eren quickly changes his mind, agreeing to send the call. Eren’s face-hole thingy begins making that one calling sound effect, and Specca tells the Chair that he’d better not be calling for backup, or else. Eren’s face begins producing the sound of a confused voice that isn’t his own. The Chair then fondly greets Saul, and asks if he’s able to see…or I guess SAW his current location, describing it as a woodshop somewhere in the Revenant catacombs. Saul, though still confused as to what’s even happening, agrees, searches for a couple seconds, and asks the Chair what the heck’s going on, implying he’s found him. The Chair waves it off saying that it isn’t important, and that he shouldn’t tell any other Crownbreakers about this. The Chair then asks Saul if he can hurry and say some kind of spell to animate all the saws in the room, and Specca suddenly realizes what’s going on. Saul quickly recites a spell as Specca tries to get Eren to hang up the call, but it’s too late. The uttering of the spell brings all the woodshop’s saws to life, and they begin bouncing all around the room, destroying everything in their path. A handsaw hops over and cuts both the Chair and Eren loose from their binds, allowing them to escape. We cut to the outside of the Revenant chapel as a saw bursts through the wall from inside and cuts an outline around the doors. Both doors (and parts of the wall around them) collapse, revealing the Chair standing triumphantly with buzzsaws rolling around him, with many unconscious Revenant members laying defeated behind. The Chair remarks he bet Specca hadn’t SAW that one coming.
The Chair returns to Wellspring Waters, followed by Eren and all the saws. Eren asks why the Chair helped him escape, and the Chair states that it’s his fault Eren was there in the first place, so he had to help him out and make things even. Eren reminds the Chair that he’d tried to drown him just a couple days ago. The Chair simply replies “Oh, yeah.” and, in order to TRULY make things even, sends the entire mob of saws after Eren. Eren flees, the saws follow, and the Chair heads off in the opposite direction, chuckling. If Raven makes this canon, then I fully expect all future battles involving Eren to be interrupted at inopportune times by a bunch of angry animate saws. Y’know, for lore consistency. Anyways, the Chair at last arrives at the easternmost edge of Pendia, the muddy waters of the Deep Bog pouring off into the abyss. Suddenly, the sun begins to rise, only a few mere feet away from the Chair. Through the blinding light, the Chair sees an entrance, and just below it, an old stone staircase jutting out. The Chair quickly jumps onto the staircase before it rises above him, and as Pendia slowly shrinks away down below, he enters the sun. The inside is pitch black, which the Chair notes is kinda weird for the interior of the sun. He searches around for a light switch, and manages to flip one on (but we can’t see how he manages this on account of how dark it is). Suddenly, everything lights up, revealing a giant city. There are countless shiny white stone towers reaching from floor to ceiling, as well as from ceiling to floor. After a few shots showing off the empty sun city’s beauty, the Chair finds a bright room full of the big, powered-off sun robots. He begins planning aloud how to destroy them all, but as he does so, a security camera peers down at him. Suddenly, all the sun robots’ eyes begin to glow yellow, and they begin to surround the Chair, who doesn’t seem to notice. One robot taps the Chair on the back, prompting him to turn around. When he does this, however, he’s immediately shot in the face(?) by a sunbeam, and promptly falls unconscious. The Chair, now with a big, charred smoking crater in his center (to go with the cracks, I guess), awakens to find himself between two sun robots, tied up yet again, and facing what appears to be the backside of a tall swivel chair in some sort of cockpit area. A voice from the other side of the swivel chair greets the Chair, saying that she wasn't expecting to see HIM here. The Chair, recognizing the voice, demands an explanation as to how she's alive. The voice simply remarks that Pendia's future Empress has her ways, and she could ask him the same question. The Chair asks why she destroyed Fogmoori town with that sun robot, but the voice only laughs at this, saying "Ah, so THEY sent you, did they? They must have survived. How disappointing....". The voice goes on to say that she sent the robot there as a sort of test run, to see how much destructive power just one unit could unload. The Fogmoori are a secret society full of cowards, so she knew none of them would leave to investigate, and that none of the other civilizations in Pendia could ever have known they'd been attacked, much less existed. The voice claims that, had she known the Chair was alive, she would've planned for him, but it seems things worked out regardless. She reminds the Chair that things didn't have to be this way, that they could've been ruling Pendia together if he hadn't gone SOFT. The Chair snidely remarks that she's the one with the memory foam cushion, not him. The swivel chair whips around; in it sits the Chair's oldest rival: the Ottoman. She shouts that she's not soft, and demands he take it back. The Chair says nothing. The Ottoman then takes a deep breath. She says that she's not letting him get in her head this time. She states that it's too risky to keep him alive, so if he won't serve the Ottoman Empire, he's good as firewood. Suddenly, the two sun robots (sunbots, maybe? I'm gonna call'em sunbots) take aim at him, the yellow glow in their eyes intensifying. The Chair calls for the Ottoman to wait, to which she dryly refuses. The Chair yells that his abilities may be of some use to her, and she'd be wasting resources by killing him. The Ottoman says she'll be fine. The Chair shouts he's the only one who has crucial information about the Fogmoori she'll want to hear. The Ottoman says she doesn't care. The sunbots then blast the Chair with their sunbeams as he bursts into flames. His silhouette can be seen crumbling apart in the inferno as the Ottoman swivels her seat back toward the sun's control panel, ordering the sunbots to clean up the mess and bring her the [CHAIR] core once the fire dies out. We end on a shot of the old spindletree stump from before, with two birds on it. And that about wraps up all my ideas for the Chair comic. I honestly never thought up a way for him to get out of...well, dying, so I'm afraid you're all stuck with the cliffhanger ending.
