[ With These Lives: Abalonestar SRP ] TW: heavy self-deprecation and loathing =============== Abalonestar - they/he, 91 moons, wearing inventory cloak ==================== Nine lives are only bestowed on five cats at a time. They are the mark of the blessed; a gift from StarClan themselves, gifted to those who are to go on to wear them with honor, knowing that the power of Silverpelt protects them and guides their paws as they lead their clan through the tides of life. Nine lives went to Silverstar I, who led her clan through the Cavern-Sea War, through the rise of the blood pool, and through perils that wrought their havoc seasons before Abalonekit came to being. Nine lives went to Silverstar II, blessed with invulnerability even before rising to the revered position of life-bearer, who served SeaClan with pride despite its icecat-blue blood. And now there is Abalonestar. Abalonestar, who is sent into a useless spiral whenever he has to give a punishment to someone he loves. Abalonestar, who somehow managed to mess up all their relationships and lonely in the clan he grew up in. Abalonestar, who does not know what their own face is doing most of the time. ... Abalonestar didn't deserve these lives. As they lay alone in their den, all their shortcomings came to mind: losing Koidash. Losing Dancepaw. Actively losing Melodymirth. Probably losing Lyricpaw. Potentially losing Albatrossmoon. Taking more walks than patrols. Doing more thinking than acting. Having useless fights with Angelitestar. Missing an easy opportunity for a new ally in the Dustrunners. Wanting an alliance with a loner group. Not fighting against IceClan for what they believed in. And on and on and on and on... Stars above and tides below, SeaClan deserved so much better than them, Abalonestar thought, tucking his tail tighter around himself. It was told in his warrior name: Abaloneplight. They were, even if not a plight, definitely not a leader. Abaloneplight was never meant to be a leader. They were no Silverstar, and they were no Silverstar. They were a warrior, not a star. But Silverstar had trusted them with the role of deputy, and StarClan had bestowed nine lives onto them... ... Abalonestar was approaching the age of retirement. It was clear in the gray furs speckled in their fur. Their face bore wrinkles, and their bones ached in the mornings (and sometimes longer). Abalonestar couldn't retire, though. For some reason unknown to him, Abaloneplight had become Abalonestar, the blessed, the one to go and walk with honor, knowing that the power of Silverpelt was protecting them and guiding their paws. Abalonestar had nine lives, each one given to them to lead their clan. So, lead their clan they would. Three of their lives were already resting back in StarClan's paws. The rest would join them after being used in SeaClan's service. ... Abalonestar would live. Abalonestar would die. Abalonestar would serve. And, when it was all over... ... Abalonestar had yet to figure that out. =============== Silverstar I owned by Silverstar II owned by Koidash owned by Dancepaw owned by Melodymirth and Angelitestar owned by Lyricpaw owned by Albatrossmoon owned by Abalonestar owned by me Role-play by