I kind of enjoy being sad. I like crying. I crave sadness. its the only time that I feel free and relieved. sh is such a relief for me, its insane. sometimes I think I'm crazy for feeling this way, but I don't know. I've grown up being taught that crying is something punishable. something to be ashamed of. I've never seen my dad cry. Only once. My mom, well she cries all the time. She plays the victim, and my dad yells at me for it. They used to fight all the time, too. I just feel out of place. I feel left out in my friend group, even though I've known everyone before the group was formed. Sometimes I worry my s/o is getting tired of me... what if I'm not good enough for them? Well, I know I'm not.. it would just be confirming my fears.
