Honest. Poem

Instructions

Honest : ---- It's the same day today. Just as I've always seen. I feel broken yet, they claim that you are close. Close? Across the sea at most. I drown you out, but am asking for a reply. I'd guess I'm out of time. Just sick and out of time. I'm really scared because my mind is having a conflicted civil war. And it would seem that I am addicted to the chore of putting things away in the depths of my head. But they seem to leak out as opposed to being covered up instead. There is a void like a virus or a cancer. If my body is a ship, then I don't know how to man her. I hate the fact that my parents might be right. But my pride won't let me say it outright. Keep on walking, keep it uptight. So I'm drifting into space A vast open ocean where no one can find my face. But occasionally I swear, I yearn for gravity and air. Life or Death? Honestly, it's not fair. We live to d!e. We live to survive. We survive to try. We try to lie. We lie to live. We live to d!e. We d!e to say ... Hello. I feel Everything fading away. From all the color into gray. I'd rather feel numb than face a painful sting. Only a few guys will know what I mean. dono kono koe kamo wakaranai. I only know a few things. That the night will go away. It started out great, but now my face is streaked with tears. It happens every year. Ok; I feel lost. The endless night has claimed me. I'm in too deep in Retrospect. Is this concerning? Maybe. Oh, but don't be concerned. I'll be fine. At least that's last I heard.. We have questions we hope to answer in this rotting life before we d!e. Well, I want to quit trying. Why should I get to survive? Who decided that I get to l!ve?! I think I used to know. Maybe I've just forgot again. My friend, I won't lie, I am beginning to thrive off the idea of 'escape'. There is something in my brain that is not me. God, please help me please set me free. This is my confession, this is my call for help. This is my confession, how come you can't see? I'll try harder this time. I'm more scared of staying alive. But there's a broken window, I threw my fist at it but reason aside, it's open. We're not confined. But stupid chains can't be untied. I wish I could see your mind. I'm not about to cry. But stupid chains can't be untied I just want to go outside. Dono kono koe kamo wakaranai Aren't you ready to d!e? We've just ran out of time. The walls are closing in, out the window we could climb. But aren't you ready to - ---