I had a dream last night where I was watching a movie about a nurse getting hunted down by her psychotic patients and she almost died once before another nurse saved her but then that nurse died and she kept running while watching more of her coworkers die and it was actually really violent kinda scary and I had to turn the movie off cus it got too Gorey and I put on adventure time. all in a dream. I have decoded this dream and aligned it to things currently happening to me. nurses are usually caring people , they help others - I try to help everyone , I try to be optimistic and whimsy . I want everyone to be happy. her own patients tracking her down to kill her - the feeling that I'm not of use to any of my friends and they don't actually appreciate the things I do . her savior was killed , along with her coworkers - helplessness , the people (or person) I wish would comfort me don't really care or don't think its that big of a deal the fact that the events were in a movie inside of a dream - I often feel like I'm watching all of this happen to me unconsciously almost as if I were a character and maybe nothing is real and I cant do anything about it she was running even while everything was happening - I usually try to run from my problems or procrastinate till they just get worse "Violent, gory dreams often symbolize intense, unresolved waking-life stress, anxiety, or emotional trauma rather than literal desires. These nightmares, common during REM sleep, may indicate pent-up aggression, fear of a situation, or psychological distress. They are often linked to PTSD, depression, or significant life pressures. " oh! oh . yeah . that's accurate :> turning the movie off because it was too much - constant thoughts of wishing I could sleep forever and not be unhappy anymore turning on adventure time - I used to watch adventure time all the time when I was little ,, wanting to go back to early childhood when things were easy , seeking comfort from familiar things ? distracting myself from the bad things with things I love. Its been twice now that ive had violent gory dreams lately Other things, I usually have "mall dreams" like floating through hallways and theres music looping . another is paralyzed / ragdoll / unable to move type dreams i once had a dream when i was around 7-10 ish where i had walked outside to the pool and was paralyzed and ragdolled on the ground and there were giant spiders progressively getting closer to me. I used to have a lot of paralyzed ragdoll dreams when i was younger , i even remember once in a dream i was just stuck by the mailbox by my house (so i saw my house in my dream) . a funny one , more recently like a month ago, i had a dream where i was in my school commons and kunikida from bungo stray dogs was there and i said to my friend “all these boys are chopped except for kunikida hes so mmm” and im not even a kunikida simp, i think that dream belongs to toaster /silly . I clearly remember i think it was a hallucination of some sort, but i was four years old and when i looked at the walls when the lights were off , i could see bugs crawling all over the walls . i yelled for my dad and he turned the lights on , they werent there ,he turned the lights back off and he left . but i could still see them. another weird thing . I often feel like I'm being watched in a way ? I used to think up whole scenarios where someone was watching me through small cameras and there could be cameras on everything . everytime someone gives me something a little voice in the back of my head thinks about the possibility of there being a small camera hidden in it . my posters could be watching me , I don't change in my room anymore , or I cover myself with a blanket . I lwk had a whole breakdown over this once . so I guess time to overly research schizophrenia cus I don't know much about it but this camera thing sounds semi concerning .
