─•──── ? ᯓ★Ready? Start!ᯓ★ ꒰ঌ ໒꒱"Welcome to my first vlog project. I'll be sharing vents, life updates, small joys and more here. If you don't want to hear any vents or if you're just not supportive of those things, you can move on to something else, I won't be name-dropping in vents and trigger warning for things of the general criteria (I'm likely unable to state it here)"꒰ঌ ໒꒱ ♡ ┊꒱ ‣Update of the day!» I've moved my account from the old one so I'm assuming some of you are from my old account (I won't be giving that to anyone new here) but just so you know, I'll be starting over here on this account, hopefully it will be more updated and organized than the last since I didn't do a good job with keeping up with that, so I hope to post more here, projects and things, maybe I'll make some sets when I get the time but I've been pretty busy with work and stuff so really don't expect too much (〃￣ω￣〃ゞ ♡ ┊꒱ ‣Good news of the day!» Its 29 days until my birthday, I not really that happy about it but I would consider good news. I hope I get some good stuff. We've decided to go to a huge mall. I'll get an outfit, some makeup and I think I saw some Miku merch there too so I'll probably get that. I'll be getting some Jirai coords for this birthday but they are extremely expensive so I really only expect to get like 1-3 but I don't really mind since its betyer than nothing. I think I'll be getting them from Honeywardrobe since I don't really know many other places to get quality coords and I heard that it's really good for a Taobao reseller so I think I'll mainly get all my outfits from there instead.
૮Ꮚ ┊ ꒱ ‣Vent of the day!» I hate how you can forget me and move on easily though you said you wouldn't. I knew I shouldn't have believed it and now I feel guilty for every memory I had with you. I wonder why I stayed so long even though I knew this would happen. it makes me so sick. I hold and kept whatever promises I could. I promised I wouldn't hate you even though you hate me now, and I've completely fulfilled that. why can't you do the same? you'll always be a traitor to me. I can't hate you for what you done. it's my fault that it happened but I still feel like you lied to me anyway. I never replaced you after you abandoned me. no one comes close to sitting in the spot you once had. and that makes me want to vomit. why can't I replace you as fast as you replaced me. it feels so unfair and I lived in this discomfort for a while as you live your newly happier and more thrilling days out with the people you like. was it your plan to keep me miserable like this as a punishment or did you not mean it at all. either way it hurts whether it was intended or not. I hate that you cheated. I hate that you valued many things over me. I hate how you thought of me as a sin more than someone that the world deserves to know about. I hate that you can replace me without a care in the world. I hate all the things you did and how I feel towards them but I can't hate you. you completely forgot what happend didn't you? or do you remember and you don't want to make a comment on it? through so many things I want to believe I loved you in spite of them and now I wonder why I bothered. I wish I felt the same way about you before all this, I feel a lot more horrible as expected. and I'm sure you're doing great. you have friends, plenty, that care about you a new person to hold in my place as shes your new reason to keep living. I think even after that, I used to think about what I would do without you, and I've done nothing else but lay in my room, relapse or sleep now. and I think that's a lot better then what I think I want to do. I think if I live any longer a little after my birthday I'll need to make major adjustments to my life to completely forget all the things you done for me, many of the things you said and the promises you made. because I used to think that would be my complete future without a plan B, I believed it all as my only thing like a religion. I thought everyday about the future I would have with you. and now I don't know what I'm going to do after this. what will be my future after you abandoned me too. you were important to me. thats why I was so upset. and now you can't be anything more to me, I don't want to live until the rest of my future. especially without knowing how it will be now. I spent so much time planning how it would be with you later in in life, but now that's has completely changed, I dont have a real reason to continue on into "later in life". I regret you. I regret everything about you and I want to forget it just as fast as you did. why did you mean so much to me and how can I take back everything I said about you. how do I take back all the lies I made to other people just to stay with you. I take it all back with my whole heart. I hate that you were the first person I loved. I regret that I believed everything and ignored my second-guessing. why did I have to be you of all people. I hate that I've come to regret the first person I've loved. I want to start over with someone else. I turned down other people because I believed in you. why did you have to be the person I first had real feelings for. why could we not have stayed friends. why did you tell me you loved me when you knew you were going to leave me. my questions won't ever even be answered. I regret you so much. ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ☆Tysm for viewing my first vlog post here! I would put mentions here but I haven't mentioned anyone in this one so if I bring up anyone by name I'll probably feature them! Feel free to comment, message or talk to me here or on DC (user- kalllis) and I'll respond soon (here and on dc) since I should be pretty free and active for a while. Because this is my first vlog, this is probably not gonna be the final format style I'll have it in but it'll be a placeholder until I can figure out a new one. Until then, I'll have this! Anyway have an amazing day/night/ evening or something and I'll be here laterrr!!! Byeyayay ヾ(*'▽'*)
