CW:: Grief, implication of death ––– Characters: Steph, referring to Raemus Time: After Raemus's erasure, before Steph wiped him from her memory ––– I knew I shouldn't have followed you, maybe if I hadn't gotten all nosy I wouldn't have.... Mm. You saw me. I know you did. I saw the way your eyes shifted when you looked at me, like they always did. And I don't know why seeing you seeing me made it hurt so much more... I could've done something. I could've distracted them, or something. Anything. I could've at least tried to help. But I stood there. All I did was watch. Gosh, why couldn't I move? Why couldn't I bring myself to do something? I knew I couldn't lose you too, so why didn't I? You were gone before I could even properly process it. The worst part of it was there wasn't a body left behind. You were removed like some stain off of a table. Like your existence here hadn't mattered to anything– but it mattered to me. You had always mattered more than anything. Weird thing is I would've wanted there to at least be a body left behind. Maybe I would've been able to handle it if it had. I wish I could've just laid beside you one last time. Just one more. I wish you would've told me what was gonna happen to you so I could've at least said goodbye. But you didn't. What was I meant to do after that? Just sit in my bed like everything was normal? Like I didn't just lose you? I wouldn't have survived that. I knew that just wasn't possible.
