CW:: Mentions of bl00d, hallucinating, gagging, grief(?) __ Characters: Steph, mentions of Dolia When?: A LONG time ago, 3-4 days after Dolia's d34th/the 'incident' Where: Steph's old room, the bathroom __ Steph laid on her bed, watching the ceiling intently. Fresh tear streaks dried up on the sides of her face, and her head was pounding. She hated this. She hated everything. She had barely ever left her room since the incident. The only thing she would leave for was food, and even that was just on the rare occasion. She sighed, sitting up while rubbing her head. She had been crying for hours, and the dehydration from it was catching up with her. Pushing herself up onto her feet, she went towards the door, pressing her hand against it. She hesitated, not wanting anyone to see her– but the bathroom wasn’t too far from here, so she could probably make it without being seen and just drink from the tap. She pushed open the door and rushed down the hall, going into the bathroom and very quickly closing the door behind her. Going over, she turned the sink on and plugged it, placing her hands in the slowly rising water. The coolness of it running over her palms felt nice; it helped her feel more present than she had before. She cupped her hands together, letting water fill them and quickly raised it up to her face, sipping from between her palms. She did it a few more times, yet in the end didn’t drink much, but she did drink enough to help ease the aching of her forehead a bit. A breath left her heavily, and she stuck her hands back in the water again. She watched it drain through her fingers, simply feeling it, though as she watched it, it seemed to turn to bl00d. She froze, then backed up just a bit from the sink. Her hands were still wet, leading it to feel like there was bl00d on her hands. The image of Dolia’s d34d body, and the way she had looked at her own hands back then flashed in her mind because of it, causing her to nearly gag. She shook her head, covering her eyes with her hands, and when she uncovered her eyes, the water just seemed like regular water again. She paused, then suddenly leaned forward over the sink, balancing herself. “Haah–” Tears streamed down her face– again, and she started to sob. “Wasn’t my fault… wasn’t my fault… wasn’t…” She started to repeat over and over to herself, “I had to… I had…” She then stopped herself, looking away from the water and back up at the mirror. She hadn’t fully seen how ‘pathetic’ she looked until now. She looked fragile. She hated that. “...Crying isn’t gonna fix anything… nor is sulking…” She mumbled to herself, “It just makes you…” She paused, the word ‘weak’ still waiting on her tongue. She tilted her head, watching her own eyes through the reflection, “You’ve been worrying everyone for days now… don’t you hate it when people worry about you…?” She continued to stare at herself, still silent, before smiling. “Nobody should be concerned about you… you aren’t worth it… just…” She focused, forcing her pupils a bit wider, “You’re okay, everything’s okay… you’re completely fine… you don’t get to…” She trailed off again, sighing, then turned off the sink and straightening herself up. “You don’t deserve time. You have to make up for… everything.”
This was the first time Steph ever used her facade :p
