I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I’ve been depressed since yesterday morning (Better now) and I’ve been crying so much that my eyes actually hurt. Everything started out fine until my dad asked about my grades. I tried to be honest about a test from last week, a test I only missed because I was busy helping him with his stuff all week, but he just lost it. My teacher never even messaged me back about the retake and then averaged my sick-day score with the new one, making my grade super low. Even with my Spanish at an 87, he still yelled at me and called me names (Not scratch approved) and said I was a bad person overall. He said he doesn't like people like me. Now he’s banned me from crocheting and a whole lot of other things like free time, which was the one thing keeping me sane. Then I had to go with him to Camp Pendleton for his business, and he forced me to sit in the front seat even though I tried to sit in the back just to stay away from him. I had to sit there and listen to him yell and argue with his mom on the phone, and it was so stressful. The worst part is he ended up saying sorry to her, but he didn't say a single word to me for putting me through all that. I never truly feel like he loves me. It feels like whenever I do well he only tolerates me, and when I slip up he gets super mad, like he was just waiting to find something to get upset at me about. It’s like I’m invisible unless I’m being yelled at. He gives my younger sisters all the good snacks like fruit bars, frozen fruit, and mini pizzas, but I’m basically banned from them. I have this huge makeup test today at 7 AM that I’m supposed to be ready for, but I’m too bummed out to even function. I just want to draw, talk to the people who actually care, and be left alone, but everything feels like it's crashing down at once. Edit: I'm better now ( ദ്ദി ˙ᗜ˙ )
Enjoy this pic of my silly dawg I love so much! :3
