my testimony (SERIOUS)

Instructions

hi, i'm butter. recently, i've been struggling with coming closer to God, and I really wanted to just... write my story. I want to be as Jesus-like as it is possible to be... and here's my story! ;P my entire life, I've been a "christian." I've always believed in God.. however only recently I've given my life to Jesus. many Christians struggle with that.. heck, if you're a Christian you might struggle with it! this type of Christianity is when you believe in God, but don't truly express that. a great example is a quote from Brendan Manning, in the intro to "What if I stumble?" by dc Talk. This is what he says: "The greatest single cause of atheism is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, and walk out the door, and deny him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable" first of all, AMEN! but second of all, I was personally part of that problem. I knew Jesus existed, but giving my life to Jesus was far from happening at the time. specifically, in 4th grade, I was far from God.. farther then even before, and hopefully ever. (of course I still believed in Jesus, but that will come later..) I cursed, and I liked.. un-godlike things. Sin was stained on me, in other words. Next year, in 5th grade that problem was eradicated.. but another problem emerged. I had an ego, and I seeked attention. I was the "Class Clown" that year, and I made some enemies because of it. that was the year I gossiped the most. (big no, no!) until summer break. I used to go to kid church before summer. (AKA K12, at my church) and now that I got out of K12, I started going to something called "Wednesdays" where Christians gather to my church, worship and celebrate God, and other things. During the lesson, the speaker said to "stand up if you wanted to go further in your relationship with God." I stood up, because I saw others stand up. now, I probably should have stood up if I was actually listening, but I'm very glad I stood up.. my current faith wouldn't be like this if I didn't stand up earlier. I walked over to one of the small group leaders in the back of the room, and they prayed for me. I didn't know it, but God was standing right next to me in that moment. At the start of my 6th grade year, I got baptized. I went public with my faith.. but that only the beginning of my story with Jesus. I started participating in church, I felt God's impact on my life, my ego deflated, and other things.. and a few months after, I went to something called "Winter Retreat" and that changed my life. the lessons at winter Retreat were about idols. at this point in time, a lot of my life was consumed by video games.. so much that the only time I have to God was on Sunday and Wednesday. now, and at the end of the two-day camp, I walked to one of my small group leaders, and said I didn't want video games to define me.. my small group leader prayed for me.. and my life was changed. I started reading my Bible at least twice a day, I prayed to got at least three times a day! and now, as I write this God is giving me courage to ask one of my "ones" (someone who is close to me but far from God) to go to church with me.. thank you for reading. :)