tw . . . uh, themes of death ??? "but you're such a great person!" no, i am not a body follows me everywhere i go her words echoing in my mind, "i'll make the sky pretty for you," guilt is like a choker that's too tight, it consumes you whole - her hands dragging you down into the murky water and soon, you begin to realize that you're drowning the water is filling up your lungs bubbles the only evidence that there's a single part of you left because you failed her, and you know that - her life had been put in my hands all i had to do was convince her to give her a reason to continue but despite my efforts - it wasn't enough i'll never know how she is now not when her username has been lost under the very same sea of water that i drown in today i can only assume and i can only grieve, because with how things went then, i don't know if she would have been able to make it to today but one day — one day, even though i don't like Taylor Swift, even though i don't believe in god - i wish to go stargazing, to look for her in that inky black sky, to remember her in her flower drawings, and to dedicate that night to her and if somehow she is reading this today, i want to say i'm sorry, for not being what you needed and for not being able to convince you because you were a beautiful person, inside and out, and i hope, i pray, that you'll one day realize, i'm still waiting for our planned day
