to be filled with a desire so deep it's easily labelled as selfishness. i yearn for you like the dandelions long for the sun. i'm a weed, but i hope that i receive your caring sunlight for as long as i'm alive. my heart aches for you like blue burns against red. they're never meant to mix- and yet-- it feels like they pair together better than any other colour in this forsaken palette. am i insensitive for wanting you all to myself? ... probably. do i still want you, all to myself? yes. i'm a boy drowning in my own love and yet i don't want to escape. i don't care if i'm a weed, i'll stick to you until the ends of this earth. so don't die out, ok? don't let your warmth for me burn out, please. you're my radiant light in this failing world. even if blue and red don't cooperate when they're displayed next to each other, i want to hold you. i want to cherish you and touch you until our colours combine to create a purple that only you and i could show. please, my heart is frail ... i'm pouring out all my feelings into a letter that will never be received, never be reciprocated it doesn't matter if i write about dandelions and the sun, colours and crap, it'll never be seen. i hide my feelings because i'm scared once you see them you'll be repulsed - and i won't be able to stop you from leaving. dandelions wilt faster than any plant out here. blue is a solitary colour. but you know, it'd look better complimented by its opposite on the spectrum. i know this will never reach you. i know that my feelings have already reached my heart, though. i'm afraid that i can't stop them. if there is a small chance that you love me back that these affections could be not one, but two i hope that one day we could share them as freely as i'm sharing this poem right now.
update unghhfhn she asked to read it shes gonna read it and hate me its all over shes gonna hate me for life hhaii so lowkey blatant poem ouh rant down brlow aboutmy stupid loser CRRUSH tw love and uhmnn obsession i dee kay im gonna be SO honest wyth u guys like .....i feel almost annoyed and disgusted at myself for liking her?? like all she did was show kindness and now im fawning over her like a lovesick fool cz im pathetic. i love her so much, and i utterly am head over heels for her but she'll never know because she hates me !! when it gets late and im wandering, i think about how nice life would be if i just got it off my chest and confessed to her, it genuinely borders on obsession how much i think about her all day. when i DONT have classes with her im still thinking about her and when i DO i still am like ???myaa get ur head in the game it doesnt matter how important she is to u u cant be thinking so much about some girl. but she makes me so happy with the little things she makes for me and the big things she does for me. she's such a big part of my life i dunno what id do without her man .....zzz OUHGHFF im such a loser to put it short its like a spell was cast over me i love her i am absolutely infatuated with her and im never gonna be loved back and it HURTS OK goonnnight im gonna go shriek into my pillow and cry
