╔∘ ★ ∘════════════════════════════════╗ life didn't feel /real/ anymore. rue couldn't tell if it was because the background to his life seemed black and white or because he stopped living. perhaps it was all of it, all at once. the once stark thrum of blood in his veins was nothing but a dull rhythm now that reminded him of time passing. time, a pendulum that never stopped swinging. it was this feeling of nothingness that prompted him to finally venture outside of the windclan camp. of course, it wasn't as if he hadn't been outside for a while. rey had joined patrols and hunted over the past few moons, but his mind always lingered within the confines of windclan camp. his crimson paws trod softly on damp grass. the feeling of ice-cold droplets of water seeping into his paw-pads was oddly satisfying to him. he closed his eyes to savor a breath of crisp air. he hadn't realized it until now, but the air within camp had been rather /stale/. his sapphire gaze, which had been glazed over with indifference, seemed to brighten a little as he stilled to drink in his surroundings. his paws had carried him to an unfamiliar destination - a location where the meadows faded into a lush forest. in the middle of it all was the centerpiece. Indeed, it was a crystal-clear river that seemed to cut through the ravines of the bordering territory. the crimson-furred tom perched onto the moist, green glades of grass. the water, which had seemed calm from a faraway glance, proved that looks were deceiving. after all, the rushing rapids were violent in the way that they carried away chunks of the riverbank and twigs and leaves. in a way, gazing at the water reminded him of tempest. roxie sighed heavily with a tide of emotion coming all at once. /why/ did all his thoughts circle back to her? lizzie was /nobody/ to him, after all. right? but how could he /ever/ forget her? she was the eternal energy of the cosmos. she was the storm furred apprentice that smiled brilliantly and fumed with the anger of divinity. he felt his claws unsheathe and dig into the ground, but that was a distraction from this /heartache/. on the other hand, did he even deserve her? a languid, bitter scoff escaped out of his mouth at the thought. of course not. but was it /all/ his fault? rue hissed in frustration and shook his head in an attempt to get rid of these /cursed/ thoughts. that was it. he'd had enough. little red riding hood had crept off his path for a bit and met the wolf. unlike red, though, rue had a choice. he could do the /right/- or seemingly right- thing and swear loyalty to his clan. the other option was, well, to feed his desire for love that he could /never/ have. the only logical option was the first one, and yet roxie hesitated to commit. what if she re- no. no. he wouldn't put himself through this vicious cycle of and on and off romance until the anguish overtook him. his sapphire gaze hardened with resolve as he stood up from the riverbank. he glanced over at the waters of the river before intentionally using his paw to push a few jagged stones into its depths. was his action meant to thank this inanimate force? he wasn't quite sure, but he knew something had changed within him. maybe it was for the better. ╚═══════════════════════════════∘ ★ ∘╝
