really bad vent.

Instructions

My fav song is Wet by Dazey And The Scouts (Filler bc I wrote this in notes and don’t want my mom opening it.) Reasons of why I haven't been posting/taking a break>> (I scribbled this up on my phone bc I didn't rly wanna make anything more than a doodle) March 7th, 2026 10:10-10:15 PM (about so?) Pacific Times TW: Brain Vomit, Vent Today, I forgot to empty out my duffel bag. I lwk thought dad put it in the laundry for me. Then mom yelled at me. I don’t know, but she started talking about how she came to get my shorts. And how it didn’t click in my head, for me to unpack my pe clothes. BUT THING IS, I THOUGHT DAD DID IT. Then she started talking about her we are ungrateful and we don’t respect them.. And then enforced chores for next week. Like i thought we did no chores to focus on studies- I’m already packed with how much homework i have. If i fail? Well darn. I’m not gonna feel that bad (yes I am that’s a total lie lolol). I guess? I mean, I freak out over a B. It gets me that lecture, of “you could do better, but this is good enough”. That’s.. not reassuring, really. It think me and my mom don’t have a healthy relationship. I can’t tell her anything. She’s gonna use it against me. (I love my pookie..) Then she pulls the respect card.. “So you respect the elders/staff/teachers at your school, but not us?” Yes and no. If I don’t respect them, I’ll be thrown in detention. I joke around with you guys and expect you to maybe understand? It was a simple mistake- OMG ALSO. She said that I always do this. But that’s literally the biggest overreaction ive heard. This could be my 4-5th time forgetting to empty my bag. Sometimes, I think she has bpd or smt. She gets really aggressive with literally no common sense (but her point) and then she’s really nice. Sometimes she’s so nice that it’s suspicious. Anyways. My point is, ive been holding everything I wanna scream at her. But, i wont. She’s my mom. And I love her. But sometimes I question that. Sometimes I think she hates me. She didn’t even want to HEAR my point. She then went about, talking about how disrespectful I was and how I’m always “reasoning out”. I just wanted her to know- Then she says I should’ve just said “Sorry mom, that won’t happen again”. When I know darn well she’s gonna say smt like “Sorrys don’t fix anything”. And at this point? I gave up. I just said sorry. BUT NO. SHE SAYS. “Oh, Ok. You only said it because I forced it out of you.” In a condescending manner- Like. Do you want my apology or not? you aren’t always right.. Topic change? I don’t know why you started using bad words around us. I don’t know who you learned THAT from. I don’t know why you’re like this. I don’t know who you really are. Just the side that’s positive. You don’t even make sense. And right now? It’s 10:34PM. I’m sitting sobbing into my pillow. Shes never gonna understand how I feel after she yells at me for something so stupid. She said she worked in psychology. I wanna try out / test for ————————. But she’s gonna then interrogate/lecture me about how im not like them. Now im scared. Unnerved. It really shakes me up, the way she just.. Always gets her way. Makes me give up on things that waste my time. Sorry for brain dumping. .