"we had some good times didn't we?" wow. hey y'all. it's cari. idk if anyone noticed or anything, but I was completely ia this past couple of weeks. I was SO busy w living at the theater, the last week of the 3rd quarter, and other things. and this week I still had a lot to do. I decided it would be easier to stay off scr during that time. and weirdly, not going out of my way to post abt taking a break made me resist getting on. any other time I "took a break" in the past, I would always log on. this time, I only did once on my set acct for really no reason. so after chaos of the week was over, I logged back on. and I saw ellie left, others pretty ia or abt to leave... and now I don't feel as bad breaking this news. that i'm leaving. i've been w y'all for around 1.5 years, on this site for over 3. and that's crazy. I finally feel like I am able to step back. the plans I have for summer combined with needing to lock in for finals and getting old, I feel like it's time. I want to type a lot, tell you all my plans, but I don't wanna bore you. so i'll put those in the notes and credits if you're interested. if not, here's the short n sweet version >>>> - i'm turning 16 - i'm finishing up 10th grade and should graduate next year anyway - my og friends are almost all gone... - i'm finding less and less time to do things here anymore - i'm not as involved or relevant as I was - i'm too close to 30 to waste my peak youth here </3 - I WILL BE A SINGER-SONGWRITER TRUSTTT so pls know that I love you all. scratch is a place I will never forget. the confidence it gave me, the friends I made, the creativity I got to share... we grew up together. for that, I have a special place in my heart for all of you. I want something bigger than this though, and I feel like i'm being held back. not by you, but by the site. and I want to let that feeling go. this is the only way. i'm sorry. ellie, fae, ari, eden, layla, riki, max, journiie, rayna, wren, lena, isla, amelia, golden, nara, the prfct pack, the gorgeous gang, the dolly comm... I love y'all w all my heart <3 I feel really bad for leaving so suddenly, especially w commitments i've already set. and as much as I want to follow through w them, I don't want to be active any longer. so i'm sorry for my march madness team, win for us. and for orders, i'm so sorry for canceling them </3 so remember me when you think of country music, when you think of one direction, when you think of hockey, when you see '>>>>', when you hear "hey y'all!", when you see nashville, when you think of liam payne, when you watch hannah montana, when see or hear debut taylor swift... I don't want to be forgotten. I want to leave knowing i'm not leaving you. so, for the last time... bye y'all. ily cari bears. forever. <3 with love, cari noelle xx
the long version for the ppl that are interested (read the instructions first tho) >>>> I think it's quite obvious what I want to do w my life. I want to sing. I want to write songs. I want to preform. I've had this mindset and desire my entire life. but I have had a bumpy road, steep hills, pot holes, and quick sand in my path. my parents, if y'all didn't know, don't think i'm serious. and they're very hard to talk to abt music specifically. I grew up where my top priorities were my academics and sports. since then, I was able to escape participating in sports. I will never hate them, they're still an incredibly big part of my life. but they put such a big mental burden on me and being able to break free from that was such a relief and break through moment. as for academics, that's never gonna change until i'm out of skl. it's smth i've learned to cope w, even tho my anxiety and stress makes it hard. anyways, I have this feeling. this feeling that 16 will be my year. that the summer of 2026 I will finally find a way to get myself to places to put myself out there. to share my singing. to share my experiences and passion. and that feeling is so exciting i'm so giddy lmao! my friend's dad is giving me his old guitar so i'll finally be able to pick that instrument back up and put a melody to my own songs. which, btw, i've written over 20 finished songs and wayyy too many unfinished ones in the span of a year or so. I hope one day they'll be on your radio. 16 is such a pivotal age. i'll be able to drive, i'll be a junior, i'll be a year older. I want to live my life. I want 16 to be the best year yet. it might sound cringe, but I want to experience so many things at this age! I want to experience having a bf, to sing in front of a crowd, to drive down a road by myself or w friends w the windows rolled down and music turned up loud. I want to feel free, to feel alive. and right now, i'm sitting w the THOUGHT of living, not actually doing it. I can't live from the comfort of my bed. i've already started planning for the summer. i'm going to see all 4 days of the cma fest, going to see zayn in concert, maybe even louis tomlinson. i'll try to be at the niall horan and thomas rhett concert cuz those are my favs lol. that's a start. a very exciting one at that lol. I have other ideas ofc but nothing set in stone yet. for example, i'll be singing. a lot. whenever they'll let me. at farmer's markets, cafes, fairs, and other events. hopefully i'll be there and get my name out there. it makes me VERY excited to think about that. all I wanna do is sing and this summer finally feels like the right time. I keep yapping about the same thing reworded over and over </3 so I think you get the point. I can't do all the things I wanna do from my computer. from the internet. I can't experience life the way I want to from a screen. living starts w stepping outside of your house. then outside of your comfort zone. and that's what I wanna do. so understand I never want to leave you, I really don't. but i'm too old to be here, I have dreams that are bigger than this, and it's too much to juggle anymore. idk if leaving here will make those dreams come a reality faster, but I need to try. i'll pop in every once in a while. to check in or revamp or post an update or photo dump or a cover. maybe make a set or two. I love y'all so much. pls live your life to the fullest while you have time. you truly only live once, might as well take risks and do what makes you happy. bye y'all <3
