I've been on this platform for years. I'm more than ready to go - which is probably evident with the lack of posting - but not until one more project. This is not a farewell, but kind of a precursor to the last thing I want to do on here. While making one last game for this platform, I've found time to think about what the hell just happened over the past few years, which have definitely been the most active of my entire scratch history. I met a lot of new people, tried a lot of things, and got to see a lot of drama. Speaking of drama, the one I put the most thought into was the one that I was actually involved in. Of course. I don't think I can forget that. I won't recap it, this is kind of a 'those who know' deal. I still consider it my biggest mistake, and in reflection that's actually a positive. With all the terrible things I have potential to do in this life, the worst I have ever managed to do is get a little freaky. I've come to the conclusion: it was the worst and best thing to happen to me. What I did sucked, realizing what I was doing sucked even more, and the embarrassment from me having to be TOLD that it was wrong still lingers. But, it was... also a good thing? I abolished all of 'that sort' of content from my life. I got into a relationship, a REAL one at that, that's gone strong for the past two years. I sought to improve on myself, not having to say to the internet that 'look!! I'm changing!! I'm so altruistic and good!!' but instead just... living. The best part is that me and the people who gave me a second chance are still in contact. In fact, we actively talk. Even the one I hurt the most. Because I USED that second chance, grabbed life by the horns (don't you dare say it, ophee) and LIVED. I consider the Me prior to those events and the Me now completely different people. I guess that's the product of maturing. The only time I ever faltered in this change was, and I guess it's time to just bite the bullet, Gash Cat. I still like the character, yes, but the @GASHCATNUMBERONE account. Oh, boy, that thing. And yeah, that was me, by the way. It's been weeks since I've posted there, get over it already. The Gash Account was just... pure negativity. It was a toxic twisting of the improvements I'd made over the years, lording it over everybody and blah blah blah. Logging into Gash's 'cord account to check the servers he was in, I just felt my stomach drop each time. I don't know why I pressed on past that sinking feeling, but doing all that just felt... BAD. The Foldergame duology is born of pure hate. The idea started as a joke but now I realise, as the REMASTER01 project sits in Gash's project list unfinished, that it really wasn't fun making those games. They didn't take long, but they were just another way of insulting people. The Gash Account as a whole is very glass-half-empty. I never interacted with the people I went after beforehand, and I couldn't decide whether it was meant to be ragebait, a joke or completely serious. 'These people will NEVER change, unlike YOU,' was the philosophy I had under that account. And while it might be true for the likes of Paka, I've slowly realised that I simply don't care. I'm sick of that account, really. I'm so much happier staying away from it. Let them just stay in their cesspits, in their meaningless hate. I don't want anything to do with them. Who knows? Karma could do its work, but I don't really care if it doesn't. I don't really know how to conclude this, but I just wanted to get those thoughts out. What I can say is? Drama sucks. But what I think we forget is that we can just turn the screen off and go outside. These are people so, so many miles away from you and it truly doesn't matter what they think. Don't become another Gash, but don't let the freaks of the world get to you either. Something something, wise words i dunno (not quite) goodbye
