okay so I’m doing this on a project because my forums tend to ramble on in nonsense- my trivia will most definitely be cut off along with some other content, so I’ll put that below in the project’s comments! thank you for reading this if you have- I’m excited to be applying for cinnabar! my name is quills(quilliam for formality), or avery- I have no preference between what name you choose for me, and the same goes for my pronouns (any.) some may know me on my far more ‘public’ account known as @-quillow- , but I would like if you kept any messages to me here, on this account. in case of emergencies, and neither work; my emergency alt. @grapefruity is available to contact me. while this account itself looks fresh, I’ve been on scratch for a very long time; about seven, or eight years? I’m mostly known for being the creator of a comic called “willow walkers;” but now I focus more primarily on my life outside of scratch, although I still like to roleplay. I am a digital artist who enjoys drawing feral, anthro, and any other sort of furry or fuzzy creatures! while I am involved with many fandoms (and they fluctuate often)- here’s a list of my current ones!; wwe, jjk, mdfnt, invincible, smiling friends, squid game, danganronpa, beetlejuice, linkin park, and tyler, the creator. why am i applying; simple- i really like the concept of cinnabar, and i believe that I’m the most capable person around to give cinnabar a proper life; and he just has a lovely design to begin with!. I think another reason is that I do want to fill all three of my slots before june/july; so in two or so years, I can depart from tfcrp after giving my last three characters lives up to their inevitable end. I feel that cinnabar would be good last fit to those three, as he has unique motives and themes that I think would make him a fascinating character for me to get a chance to roleplay, if you’ll have me, of course! that, and I just love themed characters. choso has always been a favorite, lol! roleplaying experience; as i mentioned before, i've been on scratch for a fairly long time, and during about 3/4ths of that time, i have been in the specific categories of warrior cat roleplaying. i began in one-shot roleplays that died rather quickly; having sleekmoon/foxtrot in the dawnclan rp (2020-2021?), then copperflick (i think? i don't actually know his name) and pebblerun in seaclan (og) (2020-2021?). all from humble beginnings; improper and lived only in the moment. my actual roleplaying journey didn't take off until i joined tfcrp briefly with twistnettle (killed bc boring sign-up yadda yadda), but then returned in 2022 with shorepaw; who was then deleted due to an irl injury which consumed most my time. however in late ‘22, i received balladerstwhile, and he lived for about 50 moons in tfcrp. he was the first character i had been entrusted with; and i took care of him until my heart fell upon evedaisy in 2023, who lived longer at around 80-85 moons old. and then i had solacespindle in 2025; who was killed early at 46 moons because she ’lost most her connections,' and now i currently stand with marmotkit in tfcrp (2 moons) and my future tfcrp character coltishkit (to be born in the coming months.) on a scale of 1-10, I’d say my activity level is an 8; I try to check scratch everyday, respond to my threads as needed, and I start about two threads per moon, depending on the amount of roleplayers available. about cinnabar: gender and pronouns -> : I’ll keep this part short, but I feel cinnabar would be fairly gender neutral, leaning fairly gender neutral yet still having a preference to having male pronouns, but not aligning himself as a male (possibly feeling that labeling himself as a certain gender puts assumptions on himself that he doesn’t want.) so, probably leaning more on the androgyne/neutrois (using he/they pronouns, choosing to appear more androgynous than masculine.) sexuality -> : similar to their gender, chosocat (as I am now coining him /silly) would truly not care about love, romance, or any type of dedication to anyone- feeling unfit of said privilege, and doesn’t really bother with it. while I believe they’re not aroace, he definitely lands somewhere on the aro/ace spectrum- most likely being a Quoiromantic Pansexual, and having a hard time liking the idea of romance because they can barely identify it. personality: simplified; (+) alert, clear-headed, dutiful, self-reliant, modest, adaptive. (=) reserved, unsentimental, analytical, introverted, cautious. (-) morose, uncooperative, cold, harsh, enervated. detailed: cinnabar’s character is themed around the main ideas of depression, and existential nihilism- the belief that life has no explicit meaning or purpose, and at the same time; manifesting the same additional belief that they can only rely on himself- everything is pointless and nothing- such a caring for others besides himself— matters in a world that built on survival. (cont. in desc.)
naturally, cinnabar is a solemn and lonesome cat who appears to be more cold and unwelcoming than he lets on; finding no purpose to befriending others because he has his mind set on one goal that does not define his purpose; finding his family again and bringing them together, as he has no faith in others surviving alone and doubts the capabilities of those who they want to protect- even if they haven’t met them at all yet. however, cinnabar isn’t someone who is outwardly aggressive or mad at the world; his behaviors are more influenced by his fear that he doesn’t know how to be friend- so he’s more so enervated, and seems to always act tired, reserved, or cold- not wanting anyone to come to close to him out of the fear that they too, will leave him; which is why he’s determined to find his family- so they can prevent them from leaving them again by all means necessary, and he also wants to understand how to be powerful, so they can test the strength of others they love to make sure that they don’t have to be accountable for their faults; he wants to become the big brother to the said unknown little brother in his life, keeping a strong mindset that perhaps, he’ll be able to find meaning in his life again after trying, and failing to understand why he was abandoned. cinnabar is bitter towards being “left behind,” and holds feelings of self-loathing- they're incredibly resentful, and on top of that, cautious when it comes to meeting others or trying to befriend them. they don't actively try to be a part of someone’s life because once again- the fear(s) of losing them, not being good enough for someone, and failing to understand someone for who they are, all leads cinnabar to keep one last idea in his mind- that he *is* the problem itself, and he does not know how to act truly ‘as a cat.’ (side effect of his introverted mannerisms; feels like they are something else entirely, a beast, perhaps- doomed to be alone.) so, he embraces this feeling of being a monster by making himself become the key issue in someone’s life; causing intense tragedy in theirs as a ploy to encourage someone else’s hope- unworthy of bearing hope in the world, but wanting to encourage others to carry said hope; bad things leading to greater positive opportunities. cinnabar is alert and never puts his guard down; because of his focus on survival- especially reliant on himself and only himself- and the only thing he really tries to focus his skills around is survival; he's adaptable to any situation thrown his way, and tries to remain alert in any situation (analytical or overall mental strengths are far stronger than his physical.)- yet he makes sure that each of his actions find meaning, which is why another one of his 'character themes' is learning how to do things without reason; embracing life as a thing to live freely, not something where you have to count every little minute you spend. cinnabar is also incredibly modest; he doesn't like to be credited for his actions, as he doesn't like being appraised/being complimented (feels undeserving of such "gifts.") on the bright side, cinnabar tends to make actions that are logical and he doesn't let past revolves get the better of him- he stays true to what he is committed to and remains clear-headed in most situations. however, cinnabar has difficulty trying to keep himself emotionally restrained and is often influenced by deep, negative emotions on the flip of a coin; his morose mannerisms cause cinnabar to be a highly unstable character- and he has difficulty processing the difference between emotions that come from his heart, and emotions that feel morally correct. he doesn't exactly know the difference between 'good' and 'bad.' (sees everything as the same and therefore doesn't see a problem in his actions, and never apologizes for being 'who he is.' (feels pressured by the circumstances brought by the world to apologize and refuses; they will not say sorry for who he is and rather expects an apology from the world itself, if that makes sense?) for this reason; cinnabar never seems to look back on memories or actions; dreading that eventually he'll find the reason why his mother left, and why he can't find his supposedly existing younger brother- he's extremely unsentimental and doesn't see any productivity in looking back on things you just can't change. because there's no point in doing so. there's hardly a point in doing anything, really. -- as expected, i have run out of room on this project to write any more, so i will be continuing the remaining parts of my application in the comments below- so if you've managed to find this application the moment it's been published- there's like a 90% chance that not everything has been added. please come back later- i'll put a comment at the top when everything is complete! credits design : @cinnamorolls art featured by : @-quillow- the pretender - foo fighters
