Everybody has been so sweet and I just want to say thank you to every single one of you who saw the update TLDR: I'm doing much better right now, and I am going to be doing in school therapy instead of going to a ward. In the end, I was not admitted to a Psych Ward, but! I am now signed up to take in-school therapy IF my parents consent. I had a hour long talk with a professional therapist, and I might have Major Depressive Disorder, which is better known as Depression. I have several of the symptoms at the moment. Even though things will likely stay the same for a bit, I still feel a lot better due to hope. I was feeling a bit hopeless before and that was contributing to my horrible feelings I was bottling up. Irl and also online, I am quite a jolly person, by design. I kind of always mask my true feelings with a kind of "happy" mask, and becuase of that I have difficulty telling others about how I really feel, which contributes to how I feel. this is a bit of a rant but I hope this helps anyone who is going through something similar too. Writing about this is kind of relieveing if you read through this entire thing, thank you. I keep on running like a chicken with its head cut off Achromatic twisted aeronaut A birdbrain, baby, I don't know when I'm supposed to stop Hit me with the flap down, crash into the soft ground (Foul!) Ain't no fellow feathers fallin' for a freak (So weak) So put my neck up on the chopping block A birdbrain, baby, I don't think my head is comin' off
