. . . Okay can I please just say what the (bleep) am I supposed to do!? Okay I am a person obviously and me being me (stupid) can't help any of my friends! I'm a (bleep) IDIOT! Why can't I be smart... Why can't I just act normal? I'm h**ny, weird, awkward, ugly, stupid, fat, rude, mean, idiotic, and yet people spite me! They supposedly "envy" me... no the (bleep) you don't. You hate me secretly and are fake... Why can't I just be normal and nice? No instead I'm a horrible person and I listen to music as if it's going to help. I overreact and I can't just STAY OUT of it! What do you think of me? Because honestly I want to quit. Not quit scratch quit life. . . But that makes me a depressed little overreactor? how... ? How can I be perfect? How can I suit your tastes?! I'll do anything to be perfect for you. I'll even act like a mean girl I'll do literally anything! Anything. I am such a loser and need a glow up. Like in those "POVS" I want to be glow-ed up! Please whatever it takes. I will dye my hair, wear contacts for different eye colors, change my style, talk different, and act different. . . Just please fix me.... I need to be fixed... I shouldn't act as I do. I shouldn't sound like I do. I need to be perfect and picture perfect. I am just a little toy my friends use me as and once I fulfil their needs like venting, being nice, and or doing anything they just stop using me. . . I am not a good person to be feeling this.... I SUCK. And my parents keep fighting... They always fight over me making mistakes or my brother or my sister... My dad sleeps on the couch... They have been a little more distant. . . Because of me and my siblings... they might get a divorce before they even get married... (They are engaged) they are getting married this summer... I... I can't take this what if they break up because of me? I'm not trying to cause any break up. . .
