This was my pup, Max. I miss him so much. I know it's supposed to get better but it's been a couple months since we had to put him down now and more often than not I'll dream about him or wake up crying because he's not at my side anymore. He was a big ol' dog, but he had the personality of a cat, I swear. He only wanted pet when HE wanted it. If you tried to pet him any other time he'd growl. He never really meant it. He's been in my life since I was 5 or 6, and he's been pretty much the only stable in my life--between divorces and living situations. Like I just keep having dreams where I;'ll be back with him, in stupid memories. Running around in the kitchen and getting yelled at. How he would roll over if and only if you pet his paw when he was laying. Teaching him new tricks. He was SO sassy about it. He hated spinning and would toss his head and bork before doing it. Him randomly waking me up by jumping up on my bed and resting his head on my chest I miss him so much. it hurts so much. Most of all I keep remembering and dreaming the day he passed. Holding him on the vets carpet when he fell asleep, telling him over and over he was a good boy and crying into his neck fluff. screaming in the truck in the parking lot afterwards because we didn't even have the money to cremate him and it was the middle of winter and the ground was frozen. Screaming because how dare the world still spin when one of the purest creatures in it had left???
