Soulfaith's smile was always so bright. Much more cheerful than Tegan's attempt at a smile ever was. But even though he couldn't replicate that look on his own scarred face, Tegan still loved it when Soulfaith smiled. It made him feel like he'd done something right, something good. Like he was worthy of seeing that smile even just for a moment. Tegan had never really loved anything before. At least, he didn’t think so. He’d left home at such an early age despite his brother’s attempts to make him stay; plus the Barrens hadn’t really offered much besides sand and danger. Danger he knew quite well. Tegan’s paw drifted up to his face, tracing over the tight, scarred skin that marred his face. These scars made him as much as the beast who’d given them to him, or at least, it had seemed that way. He wasn’t really sure what to think now that he’d met Soulfaith. The smaller cat never seemed to mind Tegan’s face, and it was strange to have what Tegan thought would be his downfall turn out to not matter at all. ‘Tough’, that’s what Soufaith had called him. He’d said Tegan had seen enough of the harshness of this desert just like himself. Tegan’s paws curled at the thought; it wasn’t like he didn’t wonder where Soulfaith’s scar had come from. If some pompous clan cat had dared to give that kind, sweet soul pain he certainly wouldn’t feel bad about giving them more than one scar of their own. It was strange, this protectiveness Tegan felt towards Soulfaith. He didn’t even feel like this towards his father or siblings. He hadn’t seen Hunter or Rexxy since he’d left home, and even though Kakapo was a Dustrunner too he’d rarely seen him around camp. No, Tegan’s eyes had been always on Soulfaith. Brown fur, green eyes, bright smile: that’s what was nearly always on his mind. He’d wondered what that fur felt like, and luckily something good had come from eating that blasted purple squirrel. Soulfaith had come looking for /him/. Even when Tegan couldn’t speak, he’d recognized him. And when Soulfaith had thought about Tegan, what he remembered was his smile. It had looked wonderful in Soulfaith’s mind; Tegan had seen himself through another cat’s eyes. And what was looking back at him wasn’t a beast riddled with scars. It was softness. A protective gentleness Tegan had never given himself grace to see. It was like a different cat. And yet, that smile only appeared when Soulfaith was around. When he’d gifted Tegan jackalope antlers for luck, when he’d curled his transformed body around him in the cave he’d dug, when he and Soulfaith skated across the Oasis on that colorful board. Those were the things that made him smile, the memories he cherished. And Tegan wanted to give memories like that to Soulfaith. He wanted to see him smile like he did when he really was happy. He wanted to be with Soulfaith every day. Talking, laughing, smiling. Tegan wanted to spend forever with him. "But he doesn't love you, remember?" Tegan's head started to spin. While he was wrapped up in his own thoughts, he'd forgotten the most important thing. The thing that mattered even more than his own thoughts and was the things he should have thought of first. Soulfaith's feelings. Soulfaith was aro-ace. He didn't feel romantic attraction. He couldn't love Tegan back. ... part 2 coming soon!
WHY IS THE THUMBNAIL NOT SETTING-
