✼ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ✼ Each one of us is born clean, but I never trusted that kind of purity. I didn’t want the world to be the first to mark me, so I used my own hands before anyone else had the chance. I dragged them through every mistake I could find, pressed them into every wrong door, every bad decision, every fire I knew would burn. I stained myself early, deliberately, violently, because I refused to let someone else be the author of my ruin. There’s a power in knowing the dirt on me is mine, that the wreckage has my fingerprints on it and no one else’s. People talk about being shaped by others, wounded by others, broken by others, but I made sure the first blow came from me. I didn’t want to be a product of someone else’s grip, so I used my own, and I used them thoroughly. Whatever I am now, whatever mess I’ve become, at least it’s a mess I crafted myself. And the truth is, there’s a kind of satisfaction in looking at the chaos of my life and recognizing the architecture of my own impulses. I can trace every fracture back to a moment where I chose the harder path, the darker room, the sharper edge, simply because I couldn’t stand the thought of being shaped by someone else’s intention. I wanted to be the one who ruined the clean slate, who cracked the foundation before anyone else could lay a hand on it. My hands have always been quicker than the world’s, faster to strike, faster to tear down, faster to claim the blame before anyone else could offer it. And maybe that’s twisted and reckless, but it’s still mine in the end. I don’t carry the fingerprints of strangers. I carry my own; pressed deep into every corner of my life like a personal signature. If there’s dirt on me, it’s because I put it there. If there’s ruin, it’s because I built it. If there’s blood on the timeline of my choices, it’s because I refused to let anyone else draw the first line. I would rather be destroyed by my own hands than shaped by someone else’s. And in a way, that’s the closest thing to freedom I’ve ever known. ✼ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ҉ ✼ this is kinda butt LOL
I saw a quote and based this off of it... I'll find it later errr