TW (speaks of trauma, bullying, mental health) Feel free not to read >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I feel so weird right now, kind of like...myself. I constantly felt like I was an embarrassment to you guys. but its now that I realize I'm not. this wasn't the reason Im not happy here. the reason is because I was talking to the wrong people. I've done bad things here, didn't follow rules, and that's ok, because now I realize I'm not the only one. so why do I feel like it ? I think it's because of my trauma from bullies. everyone has come face to face with a bully, maybe even been the bully themselves. All people have had a bad experience with them. I don't want to say I have it worse becuase I know people are going threw way worse things then me. but I know I HAVNT said the whole story. not many people know my backstory. I'm not going to say it, because I know it will make people feel bad. but I don't want u to. its not your fault, so don't apoligize to me. if I ever vent again, just respond ok, and I will know you have read this project. I don't want to say I'm a completely new person, but I feel like myself here. I now know that i shouldn't be upset with self for every little thing. I know I need to change. so that's what I'm going to do. its not just my health, but the people I talked to here that shaped me. so I just want to say, I'm sorry. I'm sorry because its not only your fault, its mine to, because I listened to them. I believed what they said. and I freaked out, did things I maybe shouldnt have. i promise to be better this time. because that's what this remi is. this remi is better. and I'm not going to talk to people I know make me feel bad. I'm not going to do things or say things just to make them happy. because while its making u happy, its hurting me. and I cant keep hurting myself. so that's why I'm changing. this isn't just remi...Its the real Remi.
