He could hear the fox recover from its stunned state, and he could hear the creature resume the chase. Soulfaith grit his teeth, putting it all into his sprint. Blood streamed from his chest and cheek, his vision wavering under the stress of his flight. Then, he came up with a plan. Exactly the kind of plan he felt he needed at that instant. When a loner who is already very prone to bad ideas comes up with a drastic plan, it tends to be a plan that any sane cat would call crazy, impossible, or simply a death wish. But Soulfaith didn’t need to know the outcome. In that moment, he didn’t need to weigh the odds or consider the outcomes because Starclan was on his side. So Soulfaith committed to an idea that could be the end of everything, but if all went well, he’d make it out of this alive. Soulfaith weaved through trees, his heart racing to replace the blood that he was rapidly losing. His breath came in short, labored gasps as the sound of a chasing fox tailed just behind him. *Don’t look back,* Soulfaith repeated. *Just keep going.* He knew the unclaimed lands well. Even as his senses zeroed in on a single, colorless point, even as his ears became deaf to anything but the snarls of the pursuer, even as his scent of smell was blocked by the overpowering taste of blood, Soulfaith knew what lay just beyond that line of trees. And he knew what lay just below. And he knew what waited above if this went wrong. And he knew what waited behind if he hesitated. So, without even a second thought, Soulfaith burst through the bushes, freed from the forest, freed from the fox’s chase. Because he leaped. A sharp cliff face, not quite as tall as the ones found in Pyroclan, but a long drop regardless. Soulfaith, just for a moment, floated. Suspended between the power of his leap and the force of gravity. Below him, the ocean’s crashing waves, the beat of the ocean’s heart, thumping in time with Soulfaith’s. The stars twinkled above him, reflecting the hopeful glow in Soulfaith’s own eyes. Then, he began to fall. Slow at first, but speeding up rapidly, the whistle of wind encompassed him as the worries of the fox vanished. Fifteen feet from the water, and he watched the blood from his injuries float along side him, glittering drops of red among the sea of darkened night. The moon refracted those droplets, creating spectrums in Soulfaith’s vision, glimpses of infinity that the loner could hardly hope to discern. Ten feet from the water, and Soulfaith felt as if he could hear a chorus of Starclan warriors calling his name, calling him home. Voices, begging, singing, praising him for his bravery and strength, welcoming him to eternal rest after a long, long fight. Five feet from the water, and Soulfaith barely had time to think of a “sorry” for Kili, Theodore, Albatrossmoon, and before he could think of any other cats to apologize to, he crashed into the water. It hurt a lot when the loner hit the water, breath rushing from his lungs in a stream of bubbles as he watched his blood fill the water around him, red tinged water as gravity pulled him deeper, his breath lost to the waves as he began to realize he had never learned to swim and wasn’t that a terrible thing to forget before diving into water as a last resort and was it even really a last resort or could Soulfaith have thought of an alternative or was it anything and was the water starting to grow cold as it wrapped around him and pulled him deeper into the oceanic grave and would he ever be able to say a single thing to a cat he loved ever again and all of a sudden his chest and cheek stopped hurting so much and the dull light of the surface didn’t seem as bright and the worrying thoughts didn’t seem as heavy anymore and all of a sudden the water didn’t seem as cold as it had before and– The silence of the sea.
Soulfaith. Soul. He was fractured, past and present, split between conscious and memory. Soul was still just a kit. A kit with a plan, to surprise his Momma with his amazing hunting skills! To a kit as young as he, that was all life was. Once you became the greatest hunter in the world, you would be completely happy. So, if Soul could prove to Momma that he /was/ that amazing hunter, then she would be ever-so-proud of him. Wasn’t that all that ever mattered, a much more somber voice thought. To be accepted by one’s family? The voice was so soft, so saddened, so laden with grief that it felt out of place in such a warm, comforting memory. Because Soulfaith didn’t belong in a memory like this. As Momma’s brown-pelted form padded through the den entrance, Soul dove forwards, wrapping his paws around her front paw with a delighted squeal. More amused than terrified, Soul’s Momma lifted him easily off the ground. The voice was watery, as if Soul was hearing it underwater, as if he were hearing that lovely voice from across the universe rather than right in front of him. “What’s this? The littlest hunter, trying to catch the biggest prey?” Soul nodded gleefully, still clinging to Momma’s leg. When his own voice spoke, it felt amplified. So much stronger than Momma’s. Tangible, real, a seed of a flower when placed next to the memory of the blossom. “Yah! And I gotchu, Momma!” Of course you did, kitto, the voice said. Sad, tired, envious of the life long gone. Her gentle, tinkling laugh filled the den. Soft. Light. Happy. The same laugh that Soul had inherited. Brown pelt, gleaming green eyes, anybody could have told you that Soul was this she-cat’s son. Momma gently leaned down, pushing Soul off her leg. “Alright, then, little hunter, why don’t I tell you a story…? It’s one of your favorites, soweli lili…” Huh. Those last words felt more real, as if spoken a little closer to Soul. And they didn’t quite sound like something Momma would say… Because they’re not, Soul, the melancholic voice whispered, echoing through the recesses of the memory. Your memories of her aren’t as sharp, he seemed to explain. They’re not as close. They’re lost to a sea of things that you used to know. You don’t even remember her name, do you…? Of course you don’t. The name ■■■■■■■ was a name you only heard in arguments, shouted in fits of rage. You were too young to remember… and now that name is gone. Forever. Memories started blurring together as they struggled to differentiate… but still, through that haze of confusion and insecurity, ■■■■■■■ began to tell her story. “Whenever you see a shooting star, that’s the spirit of the heavens descending to earth. They take the form of a cat, and they look for lost kits to bring home. And when they find you, they say…” Suddenly, Soul was older. Wearing a thick, moss eyepatch, with a gleaming gray Starclan cat in front of him. Eyes just as green as ■■■■■■■’s, although a Seaclan cat, rather than a brown-pelted loner. Sharktooth meowed, her voice loud and proud, “You’re going to do great things one day, and we are all so very proud of you.” Soulfaith. Soulfaith stepped forward, embracing Sharktooth tightly. Sharktooth murmured softly into his ear, an echo from a time long past, “You’ve got a long time before you join us.” Soulfaith should’ve felt warmth. As past and present blurred together, seeming to shimmer back and forth, oscillating between corporeal and unreal, Soulfaith felt like the only constant in a shaky world of memories. He felt so alone, he felt so abandoned. Soulfaith wept quietly into the memory of Sharktooth’s shoulder, suspended in that moment, floating like a surfboard in the waves. When he spoke, his voice cracked with strain, the only voice that felt real in this world of make-believe. “But what if I don’t want to keep fighting, Sharktooth? What if I’m so tired of this hunt, what if I just… want to go home?” A gentle laugh that Soulfaith hardly remembered, and a voice that sounded almost like Sharktooth, almost like Momma, but mostly– mostly– like Soulfaith. “Sometimes you’ll miss your catch, but the great thing is, you don’t have to give up.” (Final Part is here: https://scratch.mit.edu/projects/1304357948/ )
