what the genuine hell just happened. if you're reading this im taking a (big) break because my friend is dead. I don't know how to process this, im just crying. I hate everything right now, I just dont understand. I wont be active anywhere, but what. why did this happen. I understand a lot was happening but WHY DID THIS HAPPEN. I feel like everything hates me now. why is she dead. why. I hate this. I feel so weird. im mad and sad simultaneously to a point where it seems like it's beyond human intensity, I couldn't save her or make her feel better and I feel like a terrible friend. but im also mad, why did she do this? she knew how it would affect everyone, I hate her for this but I also just want to hug her. I dont know what to do.
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