─•──── ? ᯓ★Ready? Start!ᯓ★ ꒰ঌ ໒꒱" Welcome back chat....so I've noticed everyone has a similar vlog/rant style so I'll probably commit to making my own similar thing sometime but I haven't had time or energy so maybe next time </3 I have acrylic nails on and it's so hard to type but I've adapted a little bit it still might take me a little while to type especially without errors so bear with me maybe </3"꒰ঌ ໒꒱ ♡ ┊꒱ ‣Update of the day!» None of my friends haven't really been messaging me at all and I'm attempting to be somewhat positive about it and gaslight myself into thinking that they're busy, which could be true but also probably isn't</3 meaning I probably jst need someone else to talk to because I normally just spend time with myself now, I don't really like being alone but I dunno </3 you gotta do what you gotta do. I have a strong feeling that one of them replaced me, and two others just don't feel like messaging which is real but it's so hard not to take personally and now the abandonment issues are getting worse ( ≖‿ ≖ ) on a probably not so much lighter note, click space or click the screen for the project....I may or may not be an Iris Out addict but uh...it reminds me of some people I dont want to be reminded of at all but I feel this song on such a deep level is high-key crazy but I dunno </3 I feel like I know almost every word atp
૮Ꮚ ┊ ꒱ ‣Vent of the day!» I think I'm pretty much over my ex now because I know the attachment starvation is getting worse and I think he barely even cares to talk to me anymore which is okay considering that I feel like over the time I was interacting more with him on dc it felt like I was always forcing him to talk to me and I really hate hate hate hate hate that feeling. I pretty much stop messaging people after a certain point because if I 1. Am basically emotionally detached and 2. Feeling like I'm forcing them to talk to me, I think that it's not worth trying to fix. Yeah sure I miss being attached to someone as intensely as I used to be, but having that taken so abruptly makes it so much worse to a point that my thoughts are slowly becoming more and more self destructive!!! Fun!!! But I think I lose either way regardless if I stayed or left. I think I would rather be with someone that loves me than someone that gives mixed signals. And now to be just "friends" again is awkward because it doesn't feel right to be friends after everything said and done. It just feels like he hates me but it's probably paranoia. I don't think I could stay and wait for something that's never going to happen, that being that he'd love me again. But I could still say the same thing for now considering I'm not even interested in anyone anymore. It feels so hopeless and empty being left alone like that. There's nothing I could do about it. It hurts to see everyone else so far ahead in their lives and ranting about how much they love their girlfriend when you don't even really have anyone to talk to consistently everyday. It's just lonely. I talked to Mom about it briefly and she says if I beg her enough she could enroll me into public school..God I really hope so. I would be grateful for that alone. I'll trade one problem for another if I have to. ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ☆Tysm for viewing my fourth (?) vlog post here! I'll be active so don't be afraid to message or comment, I'm active on this account and on DC ! have an amazing day/night/evening or something and I'll be here laterrr!!! Byeyayay ヾ(*'▽'*)
